NC for this but Naice ham, elderly Korean lady, Sistine Screamer etc etc.
I think I might be being unhinged, but I’ve known DP for so long and some changes in his behaviour have got my spidey scenes tingling.
For background we are early 30s and DP is an architect and only in the last year has he passed his part III.
For the first time he’s been put in charge of a big project, leading a decent sized team, very proud of him but in the 80 billion years I’ve known him he’s never been one to talk about work.
As part of the team he’s got a few part IIs (so done a few years and then a masters, they’ll be 24/25/26) if he talked about all of them I’d not bat an eye lid but there is one PII, we’ll call her Jane he seems to mention a lot, he talks about work to drop her in, how much he enjoys teaching her things, how impressed he was with how she dealt with XYZ… A bit weird.
He’s taken to going to the office a lot more - he used to go in maybe 3/4 times a month and it’s now 2/3 times a week. I know “Jane” is in the office full time (he’s mentioned it…). As mentioned he’d usually not talk about work ever unless someone had really annoyed him and then you’d get a quick rant, I didn’t even know he’d won an award until he dropped it in one evening several months after - he HATES talking about work generally.
I half pulled him up on this :
“fond of this Jane aren’t you” kind of thing, to which he responded I talk about my work friends (yes work FRIENDS not just one person I’ve known 2 months).
He has mainly female friends, and I’ve never ever had a moment of suspicion or doubt about any of them. But there is just something weirdly… different about this.
I’m usually never jealous, never paranoid at all, but I cannot shake at all that something weird is going on.
I’m trying to tell myself it’s maybe just a little crush, and she probably wouldn’t look twice at him, and that’s fine, it’s unrealistic to spend nearly a decade with someone and never have a tiny crush on someone at some point!
But I feel I know him so well that there are slight differences in the way he speaks about her compared to other people he’s known/worked with that is really got me suspicious.
Outside of this talking he hasn’t acted any differently around me - not OTT romantic/affectionate which was always the indicator for friends who’s partners cheated on them. Just his usual kind, laid back self.
I keep swinging between, nothing is up, he’s had a big career breakthrough and is a bit excited about it, to, he’s wanting to sleep with “Jane”
Sorry for the internal monologue, has anyone else been in this sort of position, I’ve never been the jealous type but I cannot shake that something is up here.