Help. Ex abusive ex bought a house in next street…what am I going to do???

[Iwannascream8]

My ex who I haven’t seen in 2 years after fleeing abuse has bought a house in the next street to the family home I was awarded in court, literally 3 mins walk, will drive past every day, share same shop, park etc…what am I going to do? I can’t escape him.

He hasn’t been awarded any contact with daughter for 2 years and that’s currently in the family court. I’m pretty sure that access is going to be granted although slowly as it’s been so long, due to abuse, safeguarding concerns and drugs etc..

Why of all the places next to my house…

If you can’t move get the police involved because of the abuse and safeguarding.

Will contact be in a supervised way and will he keep it up.

Why he did it well that’s just more control from him the Bastard.

Grey rock the fukker everything through emails or lawyer whichever is easier.

Good luck

Well I’m guessing it will go from video to contact Centre but I’m not sure. I don’t want contact with him and how will I avoid that one street away. It’s taken a lot over the last couple of years healing from what he did. I don’t want that life again.

Was there a restraining order preventing him from buying a property near you?

No there is nothing in place. I just have a lives with order currently and him contact via letters.

I just want to move but I know I won’t escape him. I don’t think I can live in place I know I’m being watched and could bump into in the street.

And to get this 3 weeks before the court case having no other addresses in the 2 years previous. When I left he said you’ll escape from me.

You need to contact the police, WA and your solicitor for advice.

Contact all relevant authorities and do so ASAP as above.

Can you move is that achievable, by the way he doesn’t need your address even if he spouts that crap because of the abuse and safeguarding.

Feel for you as this so horrid truly is.

Have you ring door bell as a just in case. Do you think he’ll harass you all and I mean covertly as well.

I un appointed my solicitor a few months ago after a £20,000 bill that took me years to pay off. I simply can’t afford it anymore.

I’m pretty sure it will get twisted round in court anyway to say he has moved to the area for continuity of the child.

I deserve a life without him though don’t I?

Sell up and move.

Please call WA and the domestic abuse helpline for advice

Can you rent out your current place and move somewhere further away?

He’s doing it to upset/control you the bastard.

Call Womens Aid ask for advice. But I would move if at all possible

I will in the morning . I’ve not called them before. I went to the police and they sent me to a local charity and I got an IDVA back then but they have closed down now.

Sell and tell your solicitor/the police/court why and what he said about you not escaping him. 😟

I rang women’s aid and they are going to give me another IDVA but they can’t help with the house as he is breaking no laws. Just like the relationship really but he still managed to break me. I can’t live like this, I need a place that I feel safe.

He can have contact if that’s what the court decides but on the days I have daughter I don’t want him around walking past doing whatever. If he isn’t awarded contact then what. All he is showing me is I’ll never get rid of him. I don’t want him in my life.

What a massive piece of shit he is.

Make plans OP, you might not be able to act on them now but make plans to move. Don’t let him know where you’ll be going, once the court / contact stuff is sorted there is no reason for him to have your address (there’s not now really) but you can agree to do the hand overs in a public place.
It must be so hard OP, I’m so sorry you’re in this position. And I’m sorry for your DC too.

I’d definitely be making plans to move, in the meantime put CCTV cameras up, a ring doorbell if you don’t have them. A big fucking dog?

Honestly fuck him, you’ve done the hard part OP. You are free of him, won’t feel like it right now but he’ll never have that control over you again

I wanted to end my life because of this man. I can’t live down the road from him and see a constant reminder of what he did to me. He gets to walk around like nothings happened. I’ve put so much effort into making this a home for me and my daughter, somewhere safe.

Just goes to show he doesn’t give a….

@Iwannascream8

I wanted to end my life because of this man. I can’t live down the road from him and see a constant reminder of what he did to me. He gets to walk around like nothings happened. I’ve put so much effort into making this a home for me and my daughter, somewhere safe.

Just goes to show he doesn’t give a….

Sell the house. You don't have to stay there. You can still move.

Move immediately. Do you own or rent? I assume own, from what you've said.

Get out into a rental, get the house on the market and keep your new address private - he never has to know where you've gone. Your sanity is more important than anything else.

Don't even debate it or agonise over whether or not you should.

Are you in a big city like London or a small village?

I’m in a town quite a big one. My family are here so I need them.

Will a judge look at any of this. We go back to court in a few weeks for the third directions hearing and I’m pretty sure they are going to kick start contact, slow at first I assume. How will it look him moving down the road. He has also ignored half the court order. The judge before seemed to just feel sorry for him.