Dating… Is it worth it? Maybe single is easier!

[hellfire29]

Just that really… started chatting nearly a month ago, very open with individual and vice versa… some sexual chat which is totally ok.. but a month in no sign of date.. have opened conversations about it… they will find a time… messages in the morning, during the day and evening… photos sent either way… me clothed.. him topless in some.. encouragement for me to send but said no it’s a rule of mine not too… then today… I stupidly sent a photo with bra on… he jokes I have lots of rules… I have one I explain… would he rather have someone that sends it all to anyone.. he says no.. good point…

I send a message later and get a ‘Enjoy your days off’ message… I literally give up this feels like a dismissal I’m done with you now. I know it is for the best as I really don't want to not meet the person and wont exchange naked photos but why is this so hard! I stupidly stopped chatting to others because this one ticked boxes. Is it just women that invest so much time in dating? I am done with the whole, I want a relationship bullshit I hear.. how do you work out the genuine from the fake? x

Meet in person ASAP

Don't spends weeks exchanging messages. If they don't want to meet. Then bin them off.

Don't put all your eggs into one basket.

What are your deal breakers. And stick with them.

He is probably married/engaged/not actually single

Definitely this. Meet up within a week or bin them. You aren't looking for a penpal

A lot of them just want nude pics for the wank bank so they start send you them in hope you send them back. Delete them soon as possible they start that behaviour, there're not looking to date.
The genuine ones will be keen to meet you.

I message for a couple of days, but I’ll then want to have a phone call and video call and if both are still interested set up a date. Just do not invest in anyone beyond this sort of ever-progressing timeline as it becomes more fantasy than reality. Also be wary of anyone who starts to suggest there’s anything between you more than what there actually is - the more someone starts gently intimating there’s a meaningful connection, they want to show you xyz or how much they can imagine doing abc with you… when they haven’t met you… the more it’s a red flag.

This isn't about 'What women do', OP, this is about you.

Decide what you want, and make it clear, even if just to yourself. They don't need to know; after all, you want somebody who is naturally your match, not somebody who's following instructions. If they show any signs of not delivering, move on. With this guy, if you've been chatting for a couple of weeks and he's not falling over himself to meet you... that's when you should have said 'Sod it', and saved yourself some time.

Why is it that it's so heartbreaking for you to leave behind a man you haven't met? Are you coming from the mindset that your life would have been complete if he was in it? Or that he was the only man for you? If you switch this round... 'My life in complete and tonnes of men would give an eye to be with me'... would you feel so bad right now?

What was the idea of a relationship with him giving you that you can't give to yourself?