Question about prostitute user

[tothefloor]

Part rant part question.
Reasons my arsehole STBXH gave for paying for sex with prostitutes:

1. initial justification for his behaviour was that we weren't having enough sex, and he 'wanted sex', then
2. tells me 'I like sex' then a bit later
3. tells me he 'must have been unhappy', then later
4. tells me he must not have loved me 100% at that time, apparently did love me but maybe 70% or so. Yes he actually said that.

My question is: why has nobody - and I mean nobody - from his side contacted me just to see I'm ok even? and what should I do about that?

Do you mean his family and/ or friends? If so, it's because they're his family/ friends, not yours.

What do you do about that? Honestly - you do nothing. forget the arsehole and move on. Leave him to pay for sex and get on with your life.

I was married to him for decades - are they 'his' family, 'his' friends?

Yes.
They probably think 'He wouldn't do that' and 'She's a psycho'
People can be shits.

You were married to a scumbag. Sorry.

I get that people can be shits but seriously, nobody who has ever met me would think I'm a psycho.
And anyway, he's admitted to it. I haven't told them, he has.

To be honest it's probably ones of those things where people are feeling extremely awkward and don't know what to say or do. Although they are your family unfortunately when people split they are likely to support your husband being the immediate family but It doesn't mean they approve of his actions I wouldn't be surprised if they are disgusted themselves.

Ok, just that if it had happened to someone else, I'd be contacting the woman just to see if she needed anything. I don't think I'm unusual in thinking that, maybe I am.

You don’t know what rubbish he has spun on the situation, he obviously portrays himself as the victim so he’s probably laying it on thick to them. If they don’t see him for what he is be grateful you don’t have to bother with them either

Well. I didn't see him for what he is for 34 years so what chance have they got, I guess.

Sorry this has happened to you. Has he told them the truth? Do they know what has Actually happened?
Maybe he has twisted it, or told them not too (he will probably be worried what you will say to them, and they feel loyal to him )

His saying these things because he is embarrassed. Sex is just sex to men. It might help you to try to think of it from a man's perspective not a womens.

And also, good riddance to him

So sorry this has happened. Probably a combo of people feeling awkward and not knowing what to say or whether you want to hear from them and him telling them enough lies to sanitise things and make them feel ok about not contacting you. Could be bad mouthing you, could be saying things are amicable and you just want to be left alone to move on. Do you have support amongst your family and friends?