Hi, I could really do with some help/advice in regards to my mum and her mental health.
Growing up my mum and I always had a rocky relationship as I always felt she didn't care about me or would treat me unfairly. I recently had counselling about my relationship with my mum and this helped massively. I decided to stop trying to have conversations with her about the past as she'd never see my point of view or just gaslight me.
Some years ago she was diagnosed with BPD, Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. She also takes medication for this. I've recently had a baby and have a relationship with her simply so she can have a relationship with my DD. Otherwise I'd probably be NC for my own sanity.
My issue is, I find my mum to be SUCH an attention seeker. She often plays the victim and just loads of other things that comes with BPD (which I've gathered through research as she refuses to talk about how this affects her personally.) I just don't know what to do. I really struggle to be around her especially outside. She'll talk really loudly to get people's attention or dance and act silly for DD who'll be sitting nicely in her pram.
Now some may say there's nothing wrong with those examples but I just can't put it into words how often she does these things and how cringe it makes me. I really have second hand embarrassment from these things.
I feel so bad as it's a mental thing but I feel like my mum does certain things on purpose just because she can blame it on her diagnosis. She often goes around saying 'you know I'm crazy I can't help it' and so on. DP and I are having a few issues recently so my mum's been trying to step up and help with DD more but I'm getting to the point where I rather struggle instead of having her help. I also come from a culture where you can't just sit down with your mum and have a conversation about these things as you're the child and she's the parent so you should just know your place and not say anything.
I don't even know what I'm asking here but I guess I just needed to vent and ask if anyone has any advice with how to deal with this and not make it about myself?
I also hate how selfish I sound but I'm really struggling with this