Men who quickly remarry

[RobertaFlack]

I know a man who is now married to his third wife. The gaps between each marriage ending and the next starting is less than three years in both cases although they were in these relationships within six months. Both marriages were relatively short (3 and 4 years).

I know this guy is a bit of a charmer (full disclosure, I’m not an ex wife).

What would you make of someone like this?

Dh’s uncle was married for 20 years. Wife died in her early 40s and within 12 months he was married again. He had 2 pre teens with his first wife and they took their mums death really hard (very unexpected death)

2nd wife he was with for again 20 years (she died of cancer) and within 6 weeks he had met another woman online and within 14 months of his 2nd wife dying he married his 3rd wife.

Hes been with his 3rd wife about 7 years and shes in very poor health so i imagine he will be on his 4th wife before he dies. He

I’m assuming the first two marriages ended in divorce? Different situation if one/both previous wives died young. Assuming divorce, though, I’d think he was a bit impetuous and not someone who thinks deeply about relationships; someone quick to jump in and quick to bail out.

(That said - depends on circumstances. Could have a first very long term relationship where the marriage component was a short part of the overall total and then a second marriage where his wife left him and he was devastated etc etc. Hard to judge, really)

He likes being married.

Both marriages ended in divorce, yes

Same as I'd think of a woman who remarried.

I'm sure there are a few people on here who are on their third (or more) serious relationship, how do they see themselves?

Are we making the assumption that he was the cause of the prior marriages breaking down? You'll be told on here that either party can leave if they feel they need to.

That they want to rope some poor woman in as purveyor of wifework and daily drudge, and they can’t look after themselves or be alone.

Men do like to be married- take a look at any relationships thread on here. They’re essentially treated as an additional child and can opt out any mental workload or housework because ‘he works long houuuurssss’

They’re essentially treated as an additional child and can opt out any mental workload or housework because ‘he works long houuuurssss’

Yep. This.

Men who have happy marriages are often quick to marry again after bereavement. Divorce is probably slightly different but without knowing the reasons it is difficult to judge

@Suprima

That they want to rope some poor woman in as purveyor of wifework and daily drudge, and they can’t look after themselves or be alone.

Men do like to be married- take a look at any relationships thread on here. They’re essentially treated as an additional child and can opt out any mental workload or housework because ‘he works long houuuurssss’

Perhaps he's just a sucker for punishment.

Years ago I asked OH if he'd remarry if anything happened to me and he said no, he'd get a dog. (We've always had cats)

Maybe he just likes the sound of bells.

I always wonder about the 3rd wife though. Why on earth would someone think that they’re “the one” if someone has had multiple marriages?

I remember once me and DP got chatting to a couple in a restaurant. He had 4 children by 3 different women, and the new partner said that this was obviously different as they were meant to be together. I still wonder whether they still are. Somehow I doubt it.

FWIW I think the same of women who have multiple marriages and multiple children by several men.

I’d think some women are bizarre. Why would you marry anyone with two failed marriages behind them? It’s not exactly a glowing reference!!

@nocnoc

I’d think some women are bizarre. Why would you marry anyone with two failed marriages behind them? It’s not exactly a glowing reference!!

This is what I’d reckon as well

I'd not be auditioning to be wife no 4! :-)

In general though, I think it depends why the marriages failed - someone who has serial affairs/abandons their partners once the novelty wears off, or gets left by their wife once they show their true colours and start to be abusive is a bit different to things like getting widowed, being the one to flee DV, mutually agreeing to split up so one partner can pursue having children without the other if this turns out to be incompatible etc etc.

@nocnoc

I’d think some women are bizarre. Why would you marry anyone with two failed marriages behind them? It’s not exactly a glowing reference!!

Surely you mean people rather than women. And marriages should be relationships as so many now don't bother with marriage.

He likes wedding cake?
I think some men just don't like to be on their own and some are so incapable (too idle) of looking after themselves that they have to find a wife.

When you have a perfectly functional fridge, you keep it until it dies, then you replace the fridge.

Some people view their spouses the same way - as human appliances.

That's what I think of men who rapidly remarry.

I met dp 7 months after my exh left me, similar timescale for dp - both were in long marriages (over 20 years) that had deteriorated years prior but a mixture of loyalty and the kids meant we stayed with our respective spouses until they walked out. Some friends thought it was quick but you can't predict love! Not rushing to actually marry though.

My mums on her 3rd marriage.

Having been close involved and 0bse3ving the marriages, as I have lived with all 3 through childhood/early adulthood.....I don't think anything of it all.

I wouldn't be lining up to be a fourth spouse. I have been married once and won't be doing it again anyway. But I don't automatically think poorly of people who have been married multiple times

Oh and there was less that 3 years between her marraige ending and another one. That doesn't bother me either