Struggling.....

[Maryclause1]

I'm 40 and so confused.

I've struggled with anxiety since I was a young child after suffering childhood trauma, with bouts of depression as a adult. I've been with my partner for 20 years.

I don't think I love him anymore. But I feel so depressed right now, I'm struggling to think clearly and I don't know if I really don't love him, or if it's my depression making me feel like this.

My anxiety is crippling at times and the thought of seperating is so scary for me.

I struggle at the best of times to make decisions and I'm so indecisive.

Just feel like climbing into a hole most days at the moment.

Just a vent x

What help are you getting for your mental health? Anxiety and depression can play havoc with our emotions and how we feel in relationships with others. Maybe explore therapy and if needed medication, see how you feel when your mental health is more stable. It’s also possible that your relationship is undermining your mental health, but getting some treatment will help you figure that out too.

@IknowwhatIneed thank you for the reply.

Ive tried CBT in the past, but currently no treatment or support. I did phone my GP who recently has prescribed me sertraline, but I haven't taken them yet. I've been reluctant....I think my current depression is being caused by being in an unhappy relationship, so I think if this is the case, even if I took the medication, I won't feel any better?

Even with situational depression medication can help give you the mental space to see things more clearly, which might help with your decision making. I’d always favour therapy over medication but it does have it uses, you can stop after 6 months or so, it doesn’t need to be a long term thing but getting your mental health in a good place will help so much if you do decide to leave.

Holding your hand op. What's making you unhappy in your relationship?

@IknowwhatIneed thanks for the advice. I think the medication is something I need to really consider. Therapy....I have no idea as theres so many different types....should I try relationship counselling, therapy for PTSD anxiety.....it's all rather overwhelming.

@13yearslater thank you. I feel I've grown apart from him. I can't pinpoint exactly, but I don't enjoy sex anymore and generally feel relieved when hes working and it's just me and the kids. I just don't feel happy anymore. He's my only relationship, and he's all I know. I just feel like i crave more. But saying that, I don't think im strong enough to tell him and seperate

Try taking the medication wait for the effects to kick in and see how you feel. I don’t know why many people have low mood and won’t at least take some medication.