Too drained to get a divorce

[Paperbear]

This might sound crazy but I know my husband and I should get a divorce through the constant arguments and abuse but I am physically and mentally drained at the moment to do anything about it.

I have a one year old and I've been using any spare moment I have working on my own at home business to make money to put food on the table, my husband has been contributing to my work and doesn't have his own job.
I look after the children and the home. My husband is an extremely argumentative stubborn man and will not want an amicable divorce, he will make it as messy and difficult as possible.

How can I get the confidence and drive to make this happen when all I want to do is hide in a hole somewhere.

He needs to get a job or you will end up paying him maintenance.
Get your own bank account and get any child benefits paid into it.
Do either of you have a private pension ?
Do you own your house ?

Yes we own our home and we both previously had pensions but no longer have them.

One step at a time. Book an appointment with a solicitor (have a search online to get a decent one) and ask them what you need to do.

Once you have that information, you can sit on it for a while if you need to, but you know what you have to do once you decide to go ahead. You may feel a bit better just knowing you have that information.

Do you mean he is also helping in your business or making more work for you?

Getting yourself a PAYE employed job will help you enormously when trying to get a mortgage on your own name or buying your ex out so i'd focus on one thing at a time and this would be the first thing i'd focus on.

Don't worry about spousal support, you have to be earning a 6 figure salary for that to come into effect as it's only for high earners.

Why don't either of you have pensions anymore? What happened to them?

You get the confidence to move on by thinking about how much better your life will be after separation.

Is there physical abuse in this relationship? If so, you MUST end it, for your own sake and for the children's.

What happened to your pension?

Think about how much better/easier/stress free your life would be without him, then move towards that.
No fault divorce is meant to be coming in April, so maybe speak to a solicitor, get your ducks in a row, and think about doing it then if you can’t do it now.
There’s no rush, prepare yourself behind the scenes.