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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Messed up dating

2 replies

liska5 · 20/11/2021 21:34

Hi everyone. I’ve posted earlier about texting help… But actually, I just need a more general advice. I had two long term relationships (8 and 12 years) and now I’m single and dating. And it’s mainly online dating, sadly. Just no opportunities to meet people in real life setting anymore, with working from home and rarely getting out. And after a string of meaningless dates, it really feels like I’ll never have another relationship… it’s been a year and a half. But now I’ve met someone I really like. I’m afraid to jinx it… We had only two dates, the second one was yesterday. He’s invited me on a third date but in a week because he’s traveling next week. But I’m insecure after all the busted expectations of the past year and a half… I know he may very well be dating others as we met online, and I get dating invites from others all the time. That makes me feel awkward and thinking about him possibly dating others also doesn’t help - although I know it’s totally normal as we’ve literally just met. So… I do want to take it slow. I do want to be ok with only having a third date in a week, and I should be… So how do I just calm down and try to be positive about this? I guess so many setbacks really took their toll on me… thank you!

OP posts:
GroovesintheHeart · 20/11/2021 21:44

Unfortunately I don’t think there is a simple solution.

Uncertainty will make us feel anxious by nature but if you can learn to let the feeling pass it will help. Keep busy. Have a full life. Do not sit & obsess.

Know that it’s totally normal to feel like this at the beginning.

samesign · 20/11/2021 21:51

I think it's normal to just date once a week at first, get to know him slowly rather than rushing anything, if he really likes you then he will be reliable

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