Don’t know where to start really, just want to vent. I’ve been with my dh for 6 years and have a dd from a previous relationship.
My dh works shifts, he starts really early, up at midnight, gets home about 3/4pm, does a bit of work on the house (his choice), has his tea, falls asleep on the sofa and then to bed about 6/7 o’clock. I’ve tried to convince him to not work on the house, and go to bed earlier as I know he gets tired. Over the past 4 months he’s started to get quite grumpy and sarcastic when he’s tired, it gets worse as the week goes on. I put it down to additional stress of moving house recently so will usually try and ignore it, as does my dd. He’s not rude, but it’s the way he says it, it’s so snarky.
Occasionally I will snap back or pull him up on the way he talks to us. Trouble is, when I do, he will go ‘into his shell’ he won’t ignore me as such, but is very frosty, will only talk to me if he has to, or I ask him a question. He will still make me a cuppa etc and will be fine with my dd.
It happened again on Friday night. My dd moaned she had cold feet, and he said something along the lines of ‘put some socks on, no wonder they are cold when you don’t wear socks’ that would be a fine response, but he said it in a really horrid tone, she sort of put her hands up and rolled her eyes as she knew he was being sarcastic, (I wouldnt have minded, but we put the fire on because we were all cold, (him sat in shorts and tshirt), I said ‘there’s no need to be rude about it’ I knew instantly he was then in a mood with me, the rest of the evening passed in silence, I cooked tea and he went went off to bed. Today he gets up and goes out (as planned) so myself and dd went to do what we’d planned, and I’ve not heard from him all day. I’d usually get a few calls etc but nothing, I would also have text’d or called but I just got to the end of my tether with it all. We get home, he asks how my dd got on with her hobby, he sat downstairs with me, not talking and has now taken himself off upstairs, to bed I presume. What would normally happen now is I’d try break the ice, and then we’d be ok. But tbh I’m fed up to the back teeth of his grumpy behaviour because he’s tired and I’m less inclined to try and break the ice. I know im being as bad as him at the moment as im making no effort to be pleasant or make conversation. I know I should tell him tomorrow that he either changes his shifts or gets another job as I can’t carry on with walking on egg shells every evening after 4.30 due to his grumpiness and inability to be pleasant. But I almost want to see how long he will go on with the frostiness.