MIL rant again!!

[mieow]

Right, now where to start! MIL has made sundays "her" day to see the kids, doesn't matter what we are doing, she has to see them on sundays. Last sunday I went Xmas shopping with SIL and DS went to SILs house to play with his cousin while her hubby looked after them. MIL said to DH that she wasn't going to come round because DS wasn't here, WTF! What about my girls??? Ain't they worthy of her time? Well actually no they ain't in her eyes, Her favourite is DS and she won't look after the girls at all.
And the week before she refused to come round because my parents were here!!! She doesn't like to "share" the kids.
She is very twisted and likes to play people against each other, and she knows it winds DH up, but she also hopes he will "beg" her to come over, especially last week as he was alone woth the girls.
I really want to say that if she can't treat all my kids the same she won't be seeing any of them , but somehow she will then blame me for everything. I am already in her bad books because I had a go at her recently when DHs mate's baby died (she wanted to go round to the house, when she didn't know the family) then she phoned up DH and said I had had a go at her!!!!
She is very immature and drives me nuts!!
would you confront her?

No, don't confront her, it'll only make things worse for you. She sounds vile.

I would just discuss it with DH, trying not to make any personal comments about her (she is his mum, after all), but putting across the point that it's unfair to condone such blatant favouritism. Then HE can tell her he doesn't like the preferential treatment she's giving DS. If she denies it, or says she can't help it, then he should just tell her if she can't/won't accomodate the request, she'll have to only see your children (all of them) as and when it suits YOU, not her.

We;ve had something similar with my MIL. After me trying to be nice for years but occasionally losing my temper, DH finally told her if she couldn't be nice to me, he didn't want her to come any more. And so she hasn't. Hasn't even met DD (6 months).

I once fell out with her in a major way, very early on in our marriage, and although we "made up", things were never the same again. Although I still think I was right over that particular incident, the hassle caused really was not worth it, and caused quite a bit of friction between DH and me.

DH can't stand his mother anyway, he had a very tough upbringing and is only nice to her now because he doesn't want an arguement. Just had her on the phone, about 1/2 hour ago, wanting to know what we were doing today and what time she can come round!! I still am tired and DH is in bed, I wanted to finish decorating my hallway today, that won't happen now, as my parents are coming round for dinner. Its strange that Dh prefers my parents to his own mother and stepdad!

She also doesn't like the fact that I get on well with her daughters, she is one of these one that think you can't be friends with someone else.
She also lies, Dh told her on monday we had to take DS to Great Ormond Street the following day, on tuesday we took him up there, and then she phoned me about 4pm and asked what we had done that day, I said we were at GOS and she sadi that DH hadn't told her we were going there and we were keeping things from her!!!

tll her to go jump. you have done loads to try and help her, end of the day its up to you when she comes round. culd dh take the kids all there for an hour? then you can decorate.

UH?? up to us?? No, its up to her!!!? She seems to forget that DH is a grownup now!!

well, if he can't stand her either then you can do what you like! my DH does like his mum but hates the way she carries on - real drama queen, seems to think it's beneath her to ever thank me for anything I do... - but like your DH, he talks to her every now and then cos she is his mum and he doesn;t want a confrontation.

Can you not just agree with your DH that neither of you are that keen on the influence she's having on your life, and that from now on you'll just be polite but firm, invite her round once a week (or less!), and if she starts saying "No, that time's not convenient for me, can I come at X time instead?", just say NO! We have other plans!

You're the ones wioth the young famil to think of, she can bloody well turn up when it suits you. not the other way round.

She has just rung me again and said that coz DH is still in bed, she'll have to leave it, coz they have to decorate!!!!!! Suppose she want us to go there now!!

well just dont ring her back.

Thats three week in a row she hasn't seen the kids, I suppose we are keeping them away from her now, she has a twisted mind, never mind the fact that she choose not to come round the last few weeks

evil twisted woman. grrrr.

lol misdee

I think DH should tell her that if she can't treat all the children equally then she can't see any of them
but no I wouldn't confront her myself .. blood is thicker than in-laws

oohhh But I want a fight!!

understand that

but do you want a four-decade grudge match?

I wouldn't mind if we invited her, but every sunday at 9am she phones up and asks what we are doing that day, ie, are we going there or can she come to us? ggggrrrr

had one decade, sure 4 more woun't be so bad!! It has got to a point before where DH wants to move away from here.