Any positive stories of a slow burn?

[Lillyofthe]

My question is ....is a slow burn relationship able to become committed long term relationship?
Met a guy at the start of this year. We would see each other once or twice a fortnight. He's really busy with work and his communication isn't the best.
It did worry me but I liked him a lot.
5 or so months in I wanted more of a relationship and a bit fed up of feeling like I was putting in more effort. I told him this and he went quiet. Eventually we spoke and he said he was too busy.
We broke up for a few months but he got back in contact, he took me out on a date and we have now fallen back into the old pattern of seeing each other once to twice a fortnight and sleeping together.
I did ask him what he was playing at and he said he liked what we have and to see where it goes.
He has said he wants me in his life and that's why he got back in contact.
Now that we had the break and he has come back can our relationship finally progress? I'm happy to be patient if it's a positive outcome.
Thanks

Not quite the same, but sort of.

Dh and I were friends before we got together. We were at uni when we met and only 18 and 19. Got together at 20 and 21. We just ended up kissing / fooling around but not actually having sex after nights out etc. Eventually we just called each other gf and bf.

We've been together for nearly 20 years and married for 10 and are v happy.

You aren't in a relationship, you're his booty call.

Hmmm...so it's all on his terms? He's getting what he wants out of it but you aren't. It sounds like you need to be less available to him to find out how badly he wants you in his life.

Nobody on here can answer this for you.

He's happy seeing you once a week and he's been upfront about that. You're not happy seeing him once a week and want more.

People don’t change in my opinion
He’s been upfront and it’s all on his terms
I’m just not sure if living in hope that things might change is going to make you happy

See if you can book some time off together.

Op, what do you mean by 'progression'?
And how old are you?

If you are at the tail end of your fertility them I'd be inclined to advise you to end it. However, if you are younger/already have a child (ren)/don't want more/don't want any then you could see how it goes. Although, the one breakup that's already occurred doesn't put things in good stead.

Also, be prepared that the other person may not change either in the timeframe required by you, or ever, that's the gamble we all take when we decide to date or pursue romantic relationships. You simply can never with any certainty guarantee the outcome: you take a risk based on the information you have in that given moment.
Only retrospectively can we say that something or someone was a good 'bet' depending on the outcome.

Of course, none of us can tell for sure. Has he conveniently forgotten you told him you wanted more than this same pattern ... that you are now repeating? On the face of it, I don't see any sign anything will progress. In fact he has stated 'see where it goes' which I understand as meaning, in this case, to continue the same and stop when you tell him you want more. He can't even say this time it will be different. Too busy is a poor excuse these days to me, sorry. Also I am inclined to question if you are in an exclusive relationship with this guy?

I don’t think this is a “slow burn” - he’s been upfront and honest that he likes seeing you once or twice a week for fun and sex but doesn’t want to commit to anything beyond that. You’re trying to rationalise what you have currently as the start of what will progress into a proper and committed relationship whereas for him, this is the relationship.

I was FWBs with now-fiancé for over two and a half years before we got together. But the difference is we were both happy with the original arrangement and neither of us were hoping or expecting for it to take a different direction. There’s no way I’d have hung around if I wanted more than what we had. You aren’t happy with what you have but you can hardly blame him for not taking you seriously in saying that - all he had to do was get back in contact, take you on a date, and you were apparently desperate enough to let things go right back to where you left off. He’s still telling you the same thing. If you want a proper relationship, this isn’t it, and if you hold out waiting for it to become one then your self esteem and self worth is going to take a battering.

Mines a little different. We have been up and down for 15 months. We had a break in the summer. Then in August we started having sex and decided we were a proper couple. Stay at his 3 or 4 nights a week and spend a day with him at the weekend. He's currently not working so he's never taken me out anywhere and currently has no car. So we just go to his but that's meant to be changing within the next month.

I tried to get him to change his Facebook status to in a relationship with me and he somehow made it about me being silly and Facebook being irrelevant. Made me feel like rubbish.

He tells me he loves me and we are a proper couple but he isn't particularly shouting it from the rooftops. I hate feeling like I can't read what he really wants. But in my boyfriends case he's got an ex from 3 years ago and I suspect he's still a little bruised from her and I'm the first woman he's got close to like this.