So many issues I don’t know where to start.
My DH is complaining that I don’t want to talk to him and I’m always ‘negative’. I’m not really fun, i know this. I don’t sing & dance and do silly things. My DC think I’m boring. I have no interests & hobbies or friends, I just go to work, do the housework/dinner, look at my phone and go to bed.
I’ve always been an introvert but things have become worse lately. I think I might be mildly depressed. I can’t remember when I’ve last felt happy. I can’t remember laughing.
It wouldn’t be surprising. My DH had severe anxiety/depression/OCD which lasted 4 years. He literally couldn’t get out of bed and I had to handle EVERYTHING. He lost his job and of course this put more pressure on. I had to deal with lack of money, looking after him and DC, trying to hold on to my own job. Of course I couldn’t see friends at this time and I’ve lost them all. I feel angry & resentful about this time - I missed career opportunities, we had to cancel a holiday to Disney, all that time wasted for my DC.
I could overlook those things if he was at least thankful for what I did for him, but he’s not. I get constant moans about how I didn’t support him enough and he’s told family this too. Everyone actually thinks I’m amazing for going through all this with him, the only one who doesn’t think so is him.
Anyway, he’s better now and become amazing and fun Daddy. He’s been helping with the housework and DC which is great. I did take a step back to let him take over some things, but now the DC (13 & 10) are starting to mimic his behaviour and saying horrible things to me. Frankly I’m treated as stupid, inadequate, lazy and boring which I’m not.
He’s looking for work and had no success yet. We’ve had another argument last night, basically over money. I don’t earn much but i managed to keep us all OK, we have enough food, heating, treats etc. I even built up some savings.
Since he’s been better he’s been spending like anything. This is mostly on home improvements which did need replacing and I’ve been berated for neglecting these things - but I didn’t have time or money to do these things! He bought a car on pcp which is another £370 a month - he was supposed to be starting a job but it turned out to be 0 hours contract job and he got NO shifts from it (the job advert did not make this clear to be fair).
We now have no savings left. I can hardly sleep because I’m worried about money. We have more expenses than income. But he doesn’t seem to understand this and gets angry if I say it. He arranged for the lino in our bathrooms to be changed this week (£150) and he’s booked a decorator in for a couple of weeks time which will be at least £300. We just can’t afford it. Things would be OK if he got a job, but he’s just been rejected for another one yesterday.
So apparently he wants a divorce as he’s had enough of me being miserable. I feel most of our problems are due to him and the problems he’s causing are making me miserable….but I can’t seem to make him understand this. I’ve had enough of everything.