So family unfriendly! Working hours have been pushed

[Lana07]

I absolutely HATE it they force us with their STUPID flexibility to work till 22:00 (for 6 weeks for Christmas, fair enough) and 20:30 in retail.

I used to finish at 18:30 the latest.

Family evening is RUINED when I get home by 21:30/22:30.

Please DON'T tell me I am lucky to have a job.

My post is NOT about that.

And no, I am not in a position to change my job for the nearest 3-5 years minimum.

I originally DID NOT sign up these hours but they they are pushing and pushing!!!

@Namenic

Healthcare. Shift work, lots on your feet, stressed me out so much.

DH is more in software than IT - I guess the difference is that he writes more code to test/develop products sold by the company. He finds it stressful - because they have tight deadlines… his previous companies in software were less stressful… also, he hasn’t worked in healthcare…

I am in in IT - so write a small amount of code - but the stuff I’m doing is maintaining a system/database - if people have a problem logging into a system, I check that they have an account, reset their password, see if they have the right permissions. Do they need to download specific drivers to connect to the system etc? I also upgrade and install systems. The code I write is generally to check things are running ok.

Thank you

@VanGoghsDog

It was a mum's and wife's true emotion. I got over it.

It was a full moon and an eclipse as well. So many people tend to react or overreact.

I don't usually watch the Moon, my Mum told me in a message to remind me :).

When a man talks, he comes up with an action plan and solutions. When a woman talks/moans she often wants to distress as well as possibly find a better solution to the situation. That's a huge difference I discovered on the 14th year of marriage (married for 16).

Sometimes while talking about her problem a woman doesn't always look for a plan to solve it (I did). She often wants to share her feelings and to ask if anyone else has been in a similar to her situation and how they coped and which answer they found.

I choose to be happy every day. I don't let any life situations take over my general happiness.

Our happiness is our choice (providing nothing tragic happened).

Both of us occasionally do weekend work (but wfh) - he has deadlines to meet; for me, they try and upgrade systems on weekend to avoid disruption (maybe it happens 3 times a year).

It’s common to do a coding test for software. I learnt python and practiced on hacker rank website. But in IT - entry level jobs like 1st line desk support may not specifically need coding - just general IT skills and communication. There are also plenty of non technical jobs (like business or data analysts in tech companies too).

Yes it's shit but if you have examined all your options and concluded that remaining in this job is the best decision then you have to accept that's your choice and the price of that choice is missing out on family life. Moan away, it doesn't sounds nice at all you've clearly made this choice for good reason but that doesn't mean you have to like it!

I guess if you’ve decided you have to stay for the share save scheme all you can do is try and mitigate your frustrations (eg flexible working request) and reframe your mentality.
If you work 25 hours per week are you working 3 or 4 days? I’m not saying this to be flippant but most people work 35 - 40 hours per week and have limited time with their children. So working 25 hours a week you actually have a lot of time at home - 3 - 4 days and evenings.
If you work 4 days can you work 3 longer days and have more time at home?

I really think if you want to stay in your job you need to reframe your thinking.

You’re going to drive yourself mad otherwise.

Part time hours until 8.30/10.30pm does NOT ruin any chance of family time.

I work 52hrs as standard and often don’t finish until midnight (2am at weekends) and I manage to have ‘family night’ more than once a week.

If you don’t want to change your job then you need to make peace with it.

This entire thread is wild from start to finish. OP please do not consider a career in teaching if you are currently stressed out with late finishes working 25 hours per week. I have worked retail and I have taught for a good decade (primary school, where you can hold intellectual conversations with children), and whilst retail is exhausting, there is never enough time in the day to feel like you've completed marking 100%, or enough time in the week to finish up the lesson planning.
There are lots of working from home positions available if that's an option for you, so even if you're in your work hours, at least you know you can speak to your son every now and then.

Of course, I will stay for my shares! Who wouldn't

Not if it made me this unhappy!! Ffs

@Lana07 Yes, I teach secondary science. Sometimes I love teaching, sometimes I absolutely hate my job! It isn't the actual teaching I hate though, it's all the other rubbish, the workload, the stress, Ofsted, generally being unappreciated etc. I go through periods of wanting to switch career, I think I may do in the future, I don't think I can teach until my mid-60s, but I probably won't yet. I am a part-time teacher and that's the only reason why I'm still doing it. That frustrates me though because being part-time pretty much closes the door to further progression, so I may leave to do something that's manageable 5 days a week Monday-Friday, but where I could progress. I'd quite like to work for an Education charity, or in producing educational materials, which are sectors that I know other teachers have moved into. Full-time teaching is not family friendly at all. The workload of a full-time teacher is crazy, it's more than a full-time job and there would still be lots of evening and weekend work to do. I manage to pick my kids up from school at about 4.30pm and I don't work weekends, because I work on my days off when they are at school, so in that regards my job is family friendly. You'd probably be able to get a part-time job as an IT teacher. They're not very often advertised, but you could approach schools who advertise positions. You might even be able to train part-time, I know people who have done that. It sounds like you have teaching experience, so you could even start working as an unqualified teacher, with a view to working towards qualified teacher status. If you're not happy with your work life balance now though, and you want to switch to something that is family friendly, I most definitely would not be a full-time teacher.

When a man talks, he comes up with an action plan and solutions. When a woman talks/moans she often wants to distress as well as possibly find a better solution to the situation. That's a huge difference I discovered on the 14th year of marriage (married for 16).

Really? thats a bit sexist don't you think?

My husband estimates there is a good chance for them to be 5 times the amount we will pay for them in 3 years.

Excellent, let us know which shares they are we'll all buy some. It's great that he can predict this, what other share prices can he predict?

It's interesting because I invest in quite a few shares and retail has been woeful for the last ten years, I could not predict an increase of 5x for any share and most definitely not retail. Retail is too unpredictable.

If you bought in (and I know you get options at that set price) last year then they may have been artificially low, but even with that I cannot imagine a retail share that would be a quintuple bagger - amazing!

Let us know which it is, my ISA needs a top up.

Or, maybe your husband doesn't know. And maybe he just wants you to stay in this job for other reasons. I do hope you're not too disappointed in 26 months time.

I choose to be happy every day. I don't let any life situations take over my general happiness.

You don't sound very happy.

When a man talks, he comes up with an action plan and solutions. When a woman talks/moans she often wants to distress as well as possibly find a better solution to the situation. That's a huge difference I discovered on the 14th year of marriage (married for 16).

Well, that's nonsense isn't it!

[quote Lana07]@VanGoghsDog

Thank you. I will tell them about my legal right tomorrow.

Previously they told me they use and exploit me like this because it is 'operationally required'.

I doubt they would ever care about it to honour it and will get away with what suits them the cheapest way to operate.[/quote]
Just be aware it’s a legal right to have your request considered, not a legal right to have it granted

Honestly if you think this is exploitation I think you’ve led a very sheltered life.

I work 25 hours a week.

It's hardly slave labour though, 25 hours a week

25 hours a week isn't exploitative, no. But changing the hours worked, when those hours were in the initial contract, is not on. But the time to address that is when the change was first suggested, by refusing as it's a breach of contract, or getting union help and addressing this collectively. Once you've already been doing it a while you would be deemed to have accepted this change to terms and conditions, so the only option is to just leave. I don't really understand why the OP doesn't try and find another job that doesn't involve evening and weekend work. The shares thing is a red herring, designed to trap employees.

This thread is bonkers.

You only work 25 hours a week - how on earth does that ruin your family time?

25 hours a week isn't exploitative, no. But changing the hours worked, when those hours were in the initial contract, is not on. But the time to address that is when the change was first suggested, by refusing as it's a breach of contract, or getting union help and addressing this collectively.

Pretty much all retail contracts say "your hours can be changed with x amount of notice subject to the needs of the business", so the initial change was probably never a breach of contract.

Most people in retail and hospitality are expected to work shifts and those shifts can change with little or no notice. It's part of the industry, unfortunately.

Why are you having a go at everyone on Mumsnet about it? We aren't your boss 😳

You're even having a go at people in your OP, before anyone has even replied?

The shares are for 3 years
My husband estimates there is a good chance for them to be 5 times the amount we will pay for them in 3 years

Okay, fair enough - though like all investments it's a risk - but you said you "weren't in a position to change jobs", and that's really not the case if you're simply choosing to stay in the hope of future returns

I wish you only the best moving forward, though you might want to be a bit more structured in what you focus on job-wise. As PPs have said, no matter how horrible it is, moving from 25 hours a week to teaching could be "moving from the frying pan into the fire"

Okay, fair enough - though like all investments it's a risk

To be fair, there's zero risk, and it's not an investment as such.

The company sets the share price on a date A (from the public value on the stock exchange), they usually then discount it by some % (usually twenty percent, but not all schemes do that). You don't but the shares, the company holds them for you. You save a set amount, from a min to a max, pm from your salary. Say it's £100pm, after three years you have £3,600. You can either take the money out (usually with some low interest applied) or you buy the shares at the price they were on date A three years ago (minus also any discount the employer has applied).

You can then immediately sell the shares at today's value (minus any capital gains tax of course).

Obviously you hope they have gone up significantly.

But retail shares have been really static for at least ten years, it's a very risky area to invest. So the idea that retail share will be worth 5x more over three years is pretty unlikely.

@Puzzledandpissedoff

The shares are for 3 years My husband estimates there is a good chance for them to be 5 times the amount we will pay for them in 3 years

Okay, fair enough - though like all investments it's a risk - but you said you "weren't in a position to change jobs", and that's really not the case if you're simply choosing to stay in the hope of future returns

I wish you only the best moving forward, though you might want to be a bit more structured in what you focus on job-wise. As PPs have said, no matter how horrible it is, moving from 25 hours a week to teaching could be "moving from the frying pan into the fire"

Yes, you are right.

As 1 poster said part-time teaching could be not as demanding, overwhelming, and stressful.

Teaching is possibly at the bottom of my list after I explore a suggested qualification BCS exam in software testing and what options I might have with it working from home part-time as well as having my retail job now till 20:00 after Christmas instead of till 18L30 like it used to until I establish something better and more financially rewarding.

I don't know if it's for me until I try. But I certainly must explore other options to know I've done my best in my situation.

I am sort of preparing for a preretirement age though I feel young and 23. I know being on my feet all day bothers me because I deserve better than this:).

It's also the fact I don't want to have my 7 years of studying behind me and not to establish myself into a better career even a part-time opportunity with better working hours and better income if possible.

I have to aim for higher better options and then see if it happens and if I can do it or it's just the illusion I have.

But on my way to exploring my options, I will for sure monitor my level of happiness stays the same.

Sometimes too much unrealistic pressure can make you not so happy in life. I've experienced this in my teens with nearly professional sport (athletics from 10 -17 y.o., 5-6 weeks training and lots of competitions) and specialized Maths-Physics school which I left after 1.5 years because it wasn't for me at all and I wanted to learn English in a basic state school instead.

In my early 20s I went to work as an Au Pair in Germany when my German was very basic. It was my mistake but I pushed myself. I've realized then I really didn't like (if not hated) to be a domestic help (slave) all day then though I loved looking after the children. So I left in 3 weeks instead of a 1-year contract.

You only understand yourself and your preferences after you try different things. Until you try you never know if it's for you.

@VanGoghsDog

Okay, fair enough - though like all investments it's a risk

To be fair, there's zero risk, and it's not an investment as such.

The company sets the share price on a date A (from the public value on the stock exchange), they usually then discount it by some % (usually twenty percent, but not all schemes do that). You don't but the shares, the company holds them for you. You save a set amount, from a min to a max, pm from your salary. Say it's £100pm, after three years you have £3,600. You can either take the money out (usually with some low interest applied) or you buy the shares at the price they were on date A three years ago (minus also any discount the employer has applied).

You can then immediately sell the shares at today's value (minus any capital gains tax of course).

Obviously you hope they have gone up significantly.

But retail shares have been really static for at least ten years, it's a very risky area to invest. So the idea that retail share will be worth 5x more over three years is pretty unlikely.

My husband rebought the shares cheaper in the lockdown when they were low for a short period of time for 1-1.5 months.

That's why hopefully we will have a good chance with them.

So much we can’t say to you, presumably you just posted for people to agree with you.

I would never ever work through the night in my life as it would ruin my sleep and I would be miserable. So I would never ever choose it in the 1st place.

I guess you should have considered that retailers would want to open later for Christmas and that you might have to work then, before you took a job in retail.