Advice regarding relationship breakdown

[Mariee78]

I’m gonna cut this short and hopefully get some advice.
I have 2 children from a previous marriage. Met a new guy, everything was amazing. He was great with my kids. We have a child and things start to change. A few years on and my partner and teenager do not have a relationship. My partner isn’t that nice to her and they’ve had many arguments which has really strained our relationship and I’ve started to resent him. My teenager has severe depression and overdosed early this year. Anyway, my daughter came down from her room with all her plates from her room as she lives in there most of the time. It really doesn’t bother me but my partner had to make a comment about her not piling up the plates in future. Instead of just saying thank you for the plates he has to make a comment. He hasn’t spoken to her In days and only really talks to her when there or other people around like friends. Well after my daughter brought down the plates she went back upstairs without saying anything to my partner and collected her bag and left to spend a couple days with her dad as he was waiting outside for her. I stood on the stairs and said goodbye to my daughter and as I turned around to go upstairs I saw my partner call my daughter a wanker with his hand! Obviously I was fuming and we had an argument and he denied it. This was 3 days ago and I haven’t spoken to him since and he hasn’t mentioned it. I’m truly disgusted with him and I have actually been looking and flats because I feel like I can’t live this way anymore. We have been together almost 10 years and we have a 7 year old. I feel guilty about splitting up the family but I can’t live with this man anymore. I don’t work at the moment so moving out is gonna be hard but I feel like I don’t have an option.
What would you do?

Do you have to leave, can he?
What’s the housing situation? Do you have any savings?
I would want to separate it those circumstances too, how awful. The other children must pick up on the atmosphere in the home

Please put her first and leave this bastard. If you continue putting him first you will cause so much damage to your dds self esteem.

Teenagers are so hard and many parents find it difficult to cope with them even when they are theirs biologically. I really struggles with my first teen but I learned a lot and my relationship with my other teens is much better. Their behaviour is similar to my first teen but the way I interact with them is different so everything is smooth. My bf is really struggling with his second child and doesnt seem to get that the behaviour is pretty normal teen behaviour (because his eldest was very different).

I think it would be worth getting some books, articles and listening to some podcasts about the teen brain. So that he realises that it isn't personal and it is normal and some techniques of diffusing behaviour and getting on better and interacting better.

We rent a house from his parents. It would be difficult if I stay here. He does own his own house which he rents out. I have some savings which I can use for a deposit and then I will have to claim benefits till I can find work. It’s doable but scary. Abs your right, I don’t want to put him first, I’ve never put anyone before my kids but that’s what I’m doing now and I hate myself for it