Leaving emotionally abusive relationship

[Leo2021]

Hi
This is my first post and I'm just looking for some support. I have lived with my partner for 2 years and have a 2 year old DS. I feel the relationship is emotionally abusive with constant put downs and nothing I ever do is good enough. If I argue back it turns into a massive argument and we sometimes do not speak for a week, despite living under the same roof. I have threatened to leave before, the house is jointly mortgaged but payments go from his bank so he seems to think I have no rights. I got some stuff together and left last week however he has changed the locks so I can only get back in now with his permission. Its so hard as DS has been asking for daddy so I took him back round there to see him but it just turns into an argument and now he says he will just see him when he grows up as this is too much stress. I feel drained and like I just don't know what to do, I keep questioning if I'm doing the right thing. Thanks for reading and I'm grateful for any advice x

Are you on the deeds?

What legal proof do you have that you have a right to the house?

Do you have bank records?

Ring Womans aid?
He cannot lock you out of the house if you legally part own it.

Have you called the police and told them you left the home with your child due to domestic abuse?

You need to find out your rights.

If he bought the house in his name and you simply paid him money then you are screwed and you have no proof other than it was rent that you paid him.

He seems to think he has sole rights to the house.
Could it be true because your name is not on the deeds or morgage?

You have to ring Women's aid who will advise you best.

Thanks for your responses. My name is on the mortgage and I have contacted womens aid who told me it is illegal, as I should have a key to come and go as I choose. I contacted the police and they told me they could not do anything and to get a locksmith. I have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow but im just feeling so low and I just feel awful for taking my son away from his home but I feel I couldn't carry on as things were.

Go back to Woman's aid and tell you what the police have said.

He is not allowed to lock you out of your home.

Don't accept this.
Ring Women's aid please.

Go to your local police station and ask for help.

That is absolutely disgraceful.

Keep posting.

You poor pet.

I'm so sorry.

Have you friends or family to call.

First call Womens aid back and tell them what the police have said.

I think a locksmith is actually your best port of cal but only to get back in, grab what you need (passports ect) and get out again.

You should leave him for your child's sake. Otherwise he will grow up thinking it is normal for there to be abuse in relationships. Do you want him to grow up and become abusive like his father? Towards you and other women? Or perhaps, choosing an abusive partner for himself? If not, then show him that partners should not tolerate abuse and need need leave nasty people like that. Be a good role model. Stop the cycle if abuse.

See the solicitor and have the house sold.

Do not go back.

Thank you for your messages and support. I will contact womens aid again and let them know what the police said. I have a supportive family so i have somewhere to stay but im just really struggling to cope. I kept questioning if it was actually abusive because he hasn't been violent but I know I can't carry on living like that

Emotional abuse is still abuse. In many ways it can be more crippling.

Amd even if it was not abuse, relationships are meant to make you feel loved, secure and happy. If they don't then there's no point to them. Let alone if they do the opposite.