Reporting my DH

[Maternitynurse16]

Tonight I got so fed up of my DH going to the pub and driving home that I reported him myself. I'm a little bit devastated that he's home without being stopped! Not sure I'll have the balls to report him again 😭

Depending on how much he drank last night he could still be over the limit this morning. I think you need to tell him that for starters and then tell him he could kill someone else and/or himself on the way to work. My cousin aged 18 and 3 of her friends were all killed by a drunk driver many years ago, the parents of those 4 teenagers never recovered from it. If he doesn't listen, get a bag and pack it. FOR HIM!

OP, I'm not sure exactly why you would want to stay married to him when he very clearly doesn't give one shiny shit about you or your DC.

He is quite happy to repeatedly drunk drive, regardless of the law or the risk of causing a death, just because he finds it 'handy' to drive home from the pub......

He will, no doubt, also be quite happy to risk the lives of you and your DC too by drunk driving !

He is content to risk you marriage, his job, and your family's financial ruin and potential homelessness, just because he wants to !

And you want to stay with this bloody 'prince'

Report him again, and again until he's finally caught. Because it's either that, or live with either his or someone else's loved one's death on your conscience...............

I also reported my husband for drink driving repeatedly. He didn't get caught when I reported him but he got caught later on. He lost his licence for 3 years. I also divorced him. A true marriage with someone like this isn't possible. They will always prioritise alcohol over you.

Well done for reporting OP. That’s the biggest step to take the first time. Now you have to continue to do it … every…single… time, no matter the consequences for his job.

My exh drank and drove pretty much every day, I think. I reported him many times but he hasn’t been caught or even stopped yet, as far as I know. However, I know I have done what I can.

Im not sure I agree with posters saying you should go and take the car off him. You are not responsible for his behaviour; he absolutely has to take responsibility for his own. You are, though, responsible for reporting him to the police, which you must, must continue to do. If you don’t, and he hurts someone, I can’t imagine the guilt.

For me, I lost all respect for my exh through behaviour like this and divorced.

This was our scenario..
Dh drops me and 3 x dc off at a relative's house then goes to work (second job in a club)..
Dh picks us up. He smells of drink but assured me only had 1 pint after shift.
Starts getting arsey and shouting at me.
Pulls into a huge carpark and tells me to drive then.. I can't drive - never had a lesson.. He walks off and says well I need to learn now.
He leaves us for an hour. I am scrapping round the car looking for cash to ring his df.. He comes back and drives very erratically along a 70 road . Along the central reservation at one point. Dc all screaming in the back.
We make it home. He attacks me while I am ringing a friend.
He rips the phone out the wall.
Friend had heard enough to send the police.
He is taken away.
He comes back for his car..
I ask a ndn to ring the police.
He got arrested and charged with dd.
He sleeps in ds's floor for 2 weeks while he thinks I am going to forgive him..
Really I had filed for divorce.
My family could have been planning our funerals.
Ltb op. Before you or someone else's loved one is a statistic..

Stop making empty threats. There have been hundreds of 'next times' and you're still there.

Keep reporting him and pray to God that they catch him before he kills someone.

Feel sorry for your children really. And even sorrier for the other road users in your community.

OP was 100% right to report him but I have to say that if I'd got to the point where I was reporting my partner to the police, that would also be the point where I couldn't stay with him any more.

And in OP's position I would be taking urgent steps to ensure that I could financially fend for myself. If her DH is regularly drink-driving it's only a matter of time before he gets caught, whether it's because of her reporting or not, and then it sounds like the family's entire income is fucked.

Well done for reporting OP, I'm sorry your report was not taken as seriously as it should have been. Please, for the sake of everyone on the road and paths, continue to report him.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your children right now is to find work to get your financial independence back.

I've told him hundreds of times if he does it again I will leave and he just tells me to prove it, which obviously I can't!

These are not the words of a man who cares what you think.

Drink driving shows he is a totally selfish, arrogant man. One day he may kill himself, a pasenger or other road user. But he doesn't care about that as much as he cares about alcohol.

Alcohol is more important that other people's safety, and more important than his own wife / family.

I would leave, it doesn't get better.

I would tell him that next time he drinks, you will call the police. Find out some statistics and say you couldn't live with yourself if he killed someone, or himself.

Also say that unless he stops, your relationship is also on the line.

This is very serious.