Is this normal on tinder?

[fuckofflifeagain]

Joined yesterday....it said 99 plus likes after a couple of hours. Had multiple messages from people that clearly just want to shag. Not judging it's just not my thing. Been messaging one who I made it clear I wasn't looking to run into anything but wasn't looking for a fuck buddy and genuinely got pissed off with me for refusing his kind offer today. People sending creepy messages like "you're perfect" and lots of xxx. Wtf

@apinions you could mention what you work as, describe your ideal first date, where you like to go, mention if your more a homebody or party goer, adventure seeker etc, if you're into travelling/have travelled or what pets you have to give them an idea if there're compatible on paper.
Keep it positive and wouldn't mention dislikes on a bio as that is off putting.

Thanks samesign.
I haven't dated for nearly 30 years(!) and I've just lived my life day by day and never really given any thought to what really interests me. It just feels so contrived but I know I have to do it.

Thanks samesign.
I haven't dated for nearly 30 years(!) and I've just lived my life day by day and never really given any thought to what really interests me. It just feels so contrived but I know I have to do it.

My bio detailed my situation ( divorced, 3 kids 50/50), my job level and what i find interesting and fun. Also said not interested in ONS and i was independent and didn't need rescuing. That life is for living and if, after a coffee, there was chemistry, we would figure it out. The vibe, looking back, was very much that i had my house in order and wanted an equal that we were both would be a value add to each other. And that a lot of laughter was my goal

I think as others have said you have to become resilient and ready to be picky in matches. I went online dating after recovering fully from a hard divorce that means I have my children 100% of the time. I went in quite innocently at the start of 2020. Stayed away from Tinder because of the reputation.

For a couple of months went on a few dates, had nice drinks/walks/chats. But mostly was appalled at what some people would say. The quick over familiarity, pictures, ghosting. It was shocking.

Then lockdown came and I abandoned it all.

In about May I went back but video dating and I really enjoyed it. No pressure, no baby sitter, no expectations.

During that phase I tried Tinder and it all honesty it’s the same as the others…just higher footfall.

Just as we were heading back into lockdown last Autumn and about to delete I matched with someone on Tinder. As with all dates now had a video ‘screening’ date. Met for a coffee and whilst with lockdowns and home schooling it has been a challenging time logistically a year later we’re together.

It can work out.

What hobbies and interests do you have? There are games, forums, chatrooms etc for everything these days. Joining an online community is a much more organic way of meeting people than OLD. You get to meet lots of like minded people, rather than one at a time. You can chat and get to know lots of people rather than be under the pressure of dating. Plus you get to see their chat or posting history so you get a picture of what people are like and with apps like ventrillo/discord/skpe etc you can hear everyone too.

I know 3 couples that met through online gaming and they have been married for more than 10 years now. The women made the first move in all 3 cases. You really get to know people because you see/hear what they are saying to other people, not just to you. With a 1:1 on OLD they could be feeding you a load of rubbish. Also some people have been there for years so you can just ask them what someone is like if you fancy them.

@fuckofflifeagain

I'm doomed aren't I. I'm just going to rescue 7 dogs and forever be alone.

That sounds like a mighty fine doom to me OP.

I can't advise about Tinder as I've never ventured, but imagine like most dating sites, it attracts a larger % of men who think they can shop for a woman just like they shop for other goods & belongings.
PP will be along to give you success stories & they DO happen.
You simply have to be tough-minded enough to treat it as a numbers game, go on a LOT of dates, (coffee only - your time is precious) while ruthlessly qualifying out anyone who doesn't meet your standards.

And if you end up single anyway -
No man is better than wrong man, or creepy sleazeball man.
The dogs will adore you & be loyal, & you'll be happier without a sub-par man in your life :)