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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What should I do?

20 replies

londongirl993 · 16/11/2021 22:51

To cut a long story short, met a guy on a night out. He came home with me, we had a good time. We were texting and he was very keen. I saw him again the following week and he stayed over at mine again. Since that night, he has been very cool and not messaging as much. He is nowhere near as keen as he was.

I’ve been overthinking it and going round and round in circles in my head about what happened. I wasn’t getting much from him so I decided to just bite the bullet and ask him if he fancied going for a drink tomorrow night. He said that he couldn’t, that he had a busy week and was busy tomorrow, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. But he never suggested another date though.

I am completely torn on what to do. Part of me wants to just forget it- waiting for him to message is causing me enough anxiety- and I think he’s basically rejected me.

The other part of me wants to reply to him (he did ask me how my week was going but I don’t think he really cares to be honest) as maybe there is another chance to meet up. But surely, if he was keen and wanted to meet up in whatever capacity, he would say something on the message??

I am so confused and sad. Any advice?

OP posts:
ok1more · 16/11/2021 22:52

Move on

KintsugiForever · 16/11/2021 22:55

Protect your heart and dignity OP. There are plenty of men who you won't need to question. 😊

B0G0F · 16/11/2021 22:58

Don't worry, he will come back if he fancies a shag. Don't go looking at wedding dresses just yet.

spotcheck · 16/11/2021 22:59

He's giving you the push

Move on

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/11/2021 22:59

Don’t be confused, it’s crystal clear he has rejected you. His loss. Obviously wasn’t worth your time OP. Onwards!

samesign · 16/11/2021 23:02

You've done all you can do, you've asked him out again but to be honest I think he was just looking for a shag and not into dating you. If he asks to come round yours again in future then you know why. It's up to you what you do with him.

Dery · 16/11/2021 23:28

"But surely, if he was keen and wanted to meet up in whatever capacity, he would say something on the message??"

Yes, he would. Men who are interested make an effort. If they don't make an effort, it means they're just not that interested. There's nothing left for you to say here. If you message him again, you will lose your dignity and he is not worth that. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Prisonbreak · 16/11/2021 23:38

You are giving too much headspace to a stranger.

BloodyAlarms · 16/11/2021 23:41

Do not message him again.

NeedsCharging · 16/11/2021 23:45

He was a 2 night stand.
Block and move on.

You had a couple of nice dates but he's not interested. Casual relationships are just that. Casual.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/11/2021 23:47

He had his fun and is not interested. Don't lower yourself to contact him again.

Pascal80 · 17/11/2021 00:28

He got what he wanted and he's off.

Ufucofi · 17/11/2021 01:00

Text him something like 'Milk and sesame oil. also, Jess and Eds can come on sat xxx'

JorisBonson · 17/11/2021 06:50

@Ufucofi

Text him something like 'Milk and sesame oil. also, Jess and Eds can come on sat xxx'
What's the point in this?

He's not interested, leave it there.

JadeTrinket · 17/11/2021 07:07

@Ufucofi

Text him something like 'Milk and sesame oil. also, Jess and Eds can come on sat xxx'
I like that. It has a kind of offhand poetry. Grin

Chalk this one up to experience, OP.

category12 · 17/11/2021 07:15

Disappointing, but chin up, op.

If he hits you up in a week or two, be careful about whether you will be happy with the outcome.

pinkfondu · 17/11/2021 07:22

He's given you his answer. When he wants a shag he will message you. Move on

Lostoldusername · 17/11/2021 07:32

I had a similar experience, it sent me absolutely crazy! My advice looking back, is just delete his number. Move on. Get yourself online or make plans to go out. You'll soon forget about him and he isn't worth your time or energy.

Justcannotbearsed · 17/11/2021 07:36

Delete. If he gets back in touch it’ll just be a booty call. Delete move on.

Begrateful · 17/11/2021 08:00

Simply case of "you're being played".
Take back control, put a lid on your emotions and ignore/grey rocky him!

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