Dealing with a sociopath - tips

[Mamamia35]

That's about it. Split fir 2 years. Have to interact with him for co-parenting. High functioning, charismatic, ambitious and successful. Everything is about him, our child is not his priority. Has new life with an old flame that he got back together with after 20+ years. Find him increasingly self obsessed and difficult to deal with. His relationship with our daughter is deteriorating because he's obsessed with g/f. Doesn't take extra time off work to holiday with child, complains about costs of childcare (despite being well paid). Everything just feels like a burden. How do you deal with someone like this? I need some techniques because I find him stressful to deal with.

I’ve been reading up on this a lot. I’m not sure if my ex is a sociopath, narcissistic or partly both. He doesn’t fall into one completely. YouTube it, it does help.
As for how you deal with it, sadly with children you need to be matter of fact, email, learn to recognise those ‘selfish moments’ and ignore. Literally just ignore. Answer what’s important and leave it at that. I hugely understand and can’t imagine how much harder it with children too.

How often does he have your daughter?

Ex isn't a sociopath but has another condition that makes him self obsessed and unreliable.
You have two issues; the co parenting is one, and the finances are another. Keep him at an emotional arms length and only talk to him about practical stuff.
Don't respond to his complaints. Keep a diary and document everything he says and does with times and dates.

Let him drift away from co-parenting - he's probably going to do that whether you like it or not - and go to court to get the finances sorted if you haven't already done that. You can't force him to parent, you might be able to get him to continue paying child support.

Surely its good that a sociopath is self-obsessed and distancing himself from your DD? You can try and protect her feelings where possible e.g. not tell of any meeting arrangements until they are actually happening. Agree with PP about Court and finances and keeping records of all communications and keeping everything else, all contact, all interactions absolutely 'business' and practical-based on your part. Is this all feasible?

Thanks everybody. It's a 50/50 parenting split, which is difficult for my daughter. At this stage, on his part I think it's to keep up appearances. My gut feeling is that this is a stop gap in till he moves in with g/f. I don't think he's emotionally supportive to our daughter. He lacks empathy, he really doesn't get how her life has fallen apart. She's 11. He has just moved on and expects everybody to fall into line. I thought after 2 years things might have settled down a bit but I feel like we are back to square 1. His nights out and parenting swaps are getting more frequent. He thinks he's a single bloke again. Obviously no contact is not an option and I've remained as amicable as I can be but he messes with my head.

Should you be making it so easy for him to fit in 50:50 and his social life by swapping parenting nights frequently at his request..
This won'tt demonstrate his flakiness. Would it be better at this stage to have your daughter the extra nights, when it suits you, to demonstrate his inability to commit to a regular schedule for your daughter, but still have her on your scheduled nights.
Your seperated, you don't need to still be changing your schedule to suit him.

Swap wasn't the correct word. I take the day.