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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not feeling particularly happy 7 months post break-up

3 replies

Sarz1991 · 16/11/2021 22:10

Is this normal when I was the one that wanted to finish the relationship for years because of a lack of attraction so I finally did it but now I've come to the conclusion that I need to be with someone to feel truly happy??

So my lifestyle has changed quite a bit- I've gone from working part time to full time. I am now renting with 4 others whereas I was living in my partners house with his 3 children for 7 years - we were together for 8 and a half years. Initially, (although I was very upset because of having to finish things with him because he didn't want to) I relished the freedom and knowing that I could finally find a guy that I could be truly attracted to. However I've recently noticed over the last month that I can't wait for the weekends to come and because of a bad spell of online dating I just feel like I'm the type of person that needs to be with someone to feel truly happy. It doesn't help that I've gained half a stone as a result of becoming obsessed with food again after not being particularly bothered by it 3-4 months ago when I was slimmer. I feel like I'm in a limbo and that I've been blocking out how I've really felt about the breakup. No I don't want to go back to him but it is upsetting me that I'm not depressed but I'm not happy either. I do have a small circle of friends and I have grown very friendly with my landlord who I moved in with 6 months ago but she is very nosy and she does ask too many questions about my dating. However she actually is the only thing I look forward to when I come home from work and I am also blessed that I get on great with my work colleagues too. Although I have noticed this week that I may be starting to get annoyed easily in work and I was a bit snappy with the other tenant in the house who is nice but I just find him annoying at times as he gets on with my landlord but he is just a bit of a sick up which is annoying me lately. I just really want to know is is this normal that I'm feeling this way? 1.Unattractive 2. Feeling like I can't attract guys that I originally felt would be attracted to me but don't seem to be 3. Have I just been unlucky? 4. Is it normal to feel in a limbo during the week?

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 16/11/2021 22:33

You say you need someone else to be happy, but what is there in your life that makes you happy? Other than dating, what could you do to find happiness?

Angrymum22 · 17/11/2021 05:13

You come across as rather self centred. A little introspection may help.
You shouldn’t have to rely on a partner or friend to keep you entertained. Try joining a sports club or take up a hobby during the week.

Graphista · 17/11/2021 05:59

I just feel like I'm the type of person that needs to be with someone to feel truly happy.

This is not a healthy attitude to have

7 months is no time at all after a long relationship you seem determined to rush into another serious relationship

I would honestly suggest you need some good quality therapy to help you be happy in your own self and probably some confidence/assertiveness training to build self esteem

Your worth is not solely tied up in your relationship status or lack thereof

Are you young? This is the kind of messed up thinking I had in my teens and twenties

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