Lost Interest

[Helloagain87]

I had a baby neatly 7 months ago but since then my partner never kisses me or hugs me. He used to hint at sex but now there's nothing. We had sex last week and he... But he never wants to make me finish. I did oral sex on him twice since last week and he went both times yet he doesn't want to go near me. He never wants to go down on me. Should I be concerned. Is it because he no longer finds me attractive. I mostly wear casual clothes now compared to when we first got together I would dress nicely. It's really effecting me because he no longer shows me any attention.

Why do u keep doing things to please him when he repeatedly is showing u he doesn't care to please you?

He's a totally selfish 'lover' and isn't considering your needs at all, yet another case on here of men using women for sex and not considering their needs and feelings, you've got a 7 month old so what if you are wearing more casual clothes, i'd be doing the same. He never kisses or hugs you, he doesn't sound like a very loving person at all. This will impact on your self esteem in the long term OP so yes you should be concerned, I hope you can find a way out of this he sounds awful

I shouldn't keep doing it for him but I still do. I'm stupid. He's not considering my needs at all. He never wants to please me. I really wanted sex a few days ago I told him during the day yet nothing happened. I'm losing my self esteem. He used to call me hot but since my ds has been born not once has he complimented me. He doesny kiss me anymore

I'd be telling him that in future he has to make me orgasm before I help him to. If he doesn't give a shit about your pleasure then he shouldn't be having sex with you.

But the lack of affection is pretty shitty too op.

Does he do his fair share of the parenting parenting housework at least?

Yeah he does help with the parenting and housework. I just want attention from him sexually. Is that asking too much

@Helloagain87

Yeah he does help with the parenting and housework. I just want attention from him sexually. Is that asking too much

Sit him down and gqve a frank conversation with him about it. Tell him it's making you reconsider the relationship and that if he doesn't sort his shit out, then you don't see how the relationship can continue.

If he acts like a knob as opposed to taking you seriously or if he fails to change (and remain an attentive lover) then leave him.

The not wanting to make you orgasm or go down on you - is that new since the baby?

Yes since I had our baby he doesn't go down

@Helloagain87

Yeah he does help with the parenting and housework. I just want attention from him sexually. Is that asking too much

It’s quite common for men to see their partners in a different light after child birth, have you spoken to him about how you are feeling ?

I’m not sure the “sort your shit out”, approach would be the best way to approach this

Yeah I no longer feel sexy. It's so obvious doesn't fancy me anyhow. He never kisses me. Even during sex he just closes his eyes and even doesn't kiss me during sex.

@Helloagain87
That’s tough, he is seeing you as a Mother not a lover,

I think your best bet would to have a discussion and highlight what you mention above, as in.
“ I used to like it when we would kiss during sex “,
And go from there.

Good luck

Thank you for your response. I just want to feel special again

Hope you managed to have a chat with him.
Maybe he feels odd going downstairs om you where kid came from.

How about you suggest you both go shopping this weekend for a new outfit/ Doesn't need by Ann Summers - just say you want something nice to wear and involve him in the choice.

He's still the same