fishing for compliments

[scryingeyes]

Why do I do it?
I found myself belittling myself tonight (again - it's not new) to get some sort of compliment and reassurance.
Got pleasantries back but not the gushing love and adoration that I crave. Been married 25 years and still desperate for confirmation that I am the one.

Sad isn't it.

Maybe just some low confidence? We all go through phases of doubting ourselves. It's not sad at all. Your partner should help build you back up again.

Have you looked at therapy?

I used to be similar with men.

If this is something that you do a lot and you don't like that you do it, would you be open to / be able to get some counselling? It could be a really life changing thing to unravel why you do it and gain some security in yourself and some coping mechanisms, that would help you feel better.

Have you never believed "you're fucking lucky to have me"?

Because I am sure he is.
You just need to believe it.

Do you think this comes from within you - ie you are naturally very insecure - or is it because your DH has undermined you / is rubbish at complementing you?

If your husband is a decent, kind, loving man, then it sounds like you're chronically insecure - and the fishing for complements can be very wearing for the person on the receiving end.

However if he is unkind, never says anything nice, in fact is actively critical, then your DH is the issue.

Craving gushing love and adoration sounds like low self esteem. You wouldn't need that if you had a decent level of self respect.

What compliments do you offer yourself?

Can’t be much help sorry - I’m exactly the same.
Craving love, confirmation that he loves, fancies me etc
Yes it makes me sad too