Meant to be on a date in two hour, please help…

[Datedulema]

I’m late 30s and in brief, ive had a couple of long term relationships but basically the last few years have been a car crash of shit situations and short term things. I really want to settle down.

My last break up was end of August. We were together a year. I was heartbroken as I really thought he was the one for me. I didn’t want it to end and told him so. I’ve not heard from him in months now. It’s definitely over.

I’ve started trying to get back out there after a big talking to myself that if I sit on the sofa I won’t ever meet anyone at all.

I’ve ended up arranging a few dates over the next week or so and the first one is tonight.

I suddenly don’t want to go. I’m terrified it will make me miss my ex and cause me to feel I want to contact him, which wouldn’t be right as he didn’t give me what I wanted by a long shot. It would be a waste of time for me to go back there and I want to forget him.

Why do I suddenly feel like this? I don’t think I really ‘fancy’ this guy either, though he’s in a good job and we have nice conversation, he seems very kind and sincere. Ie not someone I don’t think I’m usually drawn to, as silly as that sounds.

I was feeling sure about getting on with it and being matter of fact about getting out there and now I suddenly feel sad, shy, unsure. It’s dark outside too and for some reason that makes me feel more down about it all.

What to do? I’m in a bit of a state.

Some great advice provided here @Datedulema . Overthinking is very natural and understandable, it may take some time for your feelings about your last relationship to melt into the background. from what you have said, going ahead with your date this evening sounds a good idea and bear in mind the great advice above.
I hope you have a really nice time and look forward to hearing how it went.

Good luck! The way I see it, is give everything a go, you never know where it may lead. Just go with the intention of having a pleasant evening without overthinking it. It’s better than Netflix and a cuppa

Good luck op

@Datedulena
Go for it enjoy, dating is all about getting out there and meeting new people. I felt like you when I first meet my oh and we r here 6 years l8r good luck and enjoy 💐

@Datedulena
And I mean I felt like just staying in and watching TV but think it was my nervous more, but I met him in Feb 6 years this year so was cold and dark and wet just finished work at ten that night and met for pizza so glad I did 💐

Oh good luck OP. The sofa and TV will still be here tomorrow night so make the most of a few hours out of the house. I was always super impressed with my friend's attitude to online dating - she assumed that they would really like her (not cocky, just self confident!) and the question was whether she would like them enough.

I really hope you've gone and enjoyed yourself. Looking forward to the update!

Since DH does I've spent lots of time with people (male and female) I don't have any great connection with, they're just "someone" to do "something" with. Which is fine. It's just an evening out.

Well it was nice enough. Not sure he’s for me…he seemed nervous but even taking that into account there was nothing really there for me at all. He’s already text saying he had a great night, he was a lovely guy and it was nicer having a chat than sitting in a silent house!

Can’t say as I’m a huge dating fan but there we go… thanks for the support it was a big help

I dont think you have really let go of your ex.you need to do that first before you get into another relationship.every date you go on,you will find something that is not right.maybe go and see a councellor and get help with letting go emotionally fro your ex.

Well done for going op.
Even though it wasn't quite your thing you did it and that's better than staying in watching TV.
Onwards and upwards.