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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is dating?

24 replies

snowflakes13 · 15/11/2021 15:28

Become so confused with relationships. Met someone 4 months ago and we went out for walks, drinks etc for a few weeks but now all he does is come over to my house and wants sex.
He does not drink and does not like pubs - has no interest to watch TV or films, has a non adventureous diet so it is pretty dull.
Neither of us have much money so I guess you can not have nights out all of the time
He will only come over when I am 'child free' and when plans recently changed and my daughter was here his reaction was "cant you just get rid of her"
I need to get rid of him don't I !?

OP posts:
litterbird · 15/11/2021 15:33

Ermmmmmm.......yes!

mildlymiffed · 15/11/2021 15:34

Errrrmmmm... really really think you know the answer to this!

TowandaForever · 15/11/2021 16:21

No one would say that about my child and ever sleep with me again!!

MintJulia · 15/11/2021 16:28

Yes. You are free sex on tap, that's all. If you want more than that, he's not for you.

Suprima · 15/11/2021 16:46

This isn’t dating

He’s using you as a free prostitute

Creepypastard · 15/11/2021 16:50

Do you fancy him?

Whatabambam · 15/11/2021 18:52

Yuck. What a nasty prick. This isn't dating. It's sex. It is really clear that you want a relationship so bin the lazy, arrogant, entitled twat.

adhdmom · 15/11/2021 19:36

It is a yes from me

Leicat · 15/11/2021 19:37

Yes, this is sex only. As he has met your child you obviously thought it was something else, but now you know he isn’t interested in dating you and having a full relationship.

category12 · 15/11/2021 19:48

He will only come over when I am 'child free' and when plans recently changed and my daughter was here his reaction was "cant you just get rid of her"
Drop-kick him out of your life.

Although at 4 months in, I don't think it's great he's met her.

Apart from that, he sounds boring and just after a shag.

TurnUpTurnip · 15/11/2021 19:49

Why would you want him coming round when your child is there? It’s only 4 months and isn’t a relationship so why do you want to introduce him anyway?

Pascal80 · 15/11/2021 20:13

A man came to read my meters from my gas supplier. He was a pleasant chatty man in his 50s - very ordinary: tall, grey hair and a bit chubby. I needed to get him a ladder and help him because the meters are very high up in the house. Meanwhile, he started telling me about his online ''dating'', where he would look for lonely women, single mothers and ''women hitting the wall'' (whatever that means) and he would go round to theirs, they would cook for him and he would go to bed with them.
He was bragging about how is cost him no money and he never had to take them out or to his place. He had four women he was seeing at the same time and showed me messages and pictures. I was gobsmacked.

Don't be one of those women, OP.

Why the fuck to women bring these men back to their homes? Never tell them where you live or let them get their feet under your table before you know them really, really well.
I just despair.

altmember · 15/11/2021 20:18

Depends what you want yourself. If you're happy with him and enjoying it then what's the problem?

It doesn't sound like dating any more, it sounds like you're in a FwB/situationship/not very serious relationship.

NotExactlyOptimistic · 15/11/2021 20:22

Fuck sake

category12 · 15/11/2021 20:24

@altmember

Depends what you want yourself. If you're happy with him and enjoying it then what's the problem?

It doesn't sound like dating any more, it sounds like you're in a FwB/situationship/not very serious relationship.

Call me mad, but I think if she were happy about the way things are, she wouldn't be posting.
PassingByAndThoughtIdDropIn · 15/11/2021 20:27

The obvious question is "are you enjoying having sex with him?"
The fact that you haven't even mentioned this fairly crucial factor gives the answer I'd have thought.

Nowomenaroundeh · 15/11/2021 20:52

He is making absolutely no effort to impress you, being horrible about your daughter and openly using you for sex. Do not let him in your house again. You are worth so much more than this.

samesign · 15/11/2021 20:58

I would not stand for a man staying I should get Rid of my daughter for him, get rid of him!

Pogodogo18 · 15/11/2021 23:27

Ugh. He sounds truly awful. Sorry OP.

Coming to your house, making no effort, expecting sex then being rude about your daughter. Literally tell him to fuck off.

shakingmytambourineatyou · 15/11/2021 23:36

@Pascal80 you should start your own thread with that information. It's a question that needs to be asked and you might just help some posters see the light.

Freddy12 · 15/11/2021 23:37

Christ what a tool !
He is just in it for the free sex, fine if you fancy him ( hard to believe) and you want just sex from him
You could definitely find a FWB that would at least not be so stupid and possibly good fun as well as a nice shag
I dropped a girlfriend years back for a similar remark something about my son being my problem!!!!

BlueSlate · 16/11/2021 06:47

For future reference...

If plans change so that your child is at home when you have a man, who you have only known 4 months, coming round for sex... cancel the bloke coming round.

Grimsknee · 16/11/2021 07:54

I need to get rid of him don't I !?

a) yes
b) fucking yes
c) bloody fucking absolutely yesterday
d) never ever put ANY man above your own child
e) if a man says something like that about your child, he needs to get the fuck away from you
f) all of the above.

vampirethriller · 16/11/2021 07:57

Fucking hell, yes you do.

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