To stay single?

[WheatlandTerrier]

It's so much hassle. Talking to friends and seeing on here all the hassle relationships create. Had a loveless marriage, one child and left when he was very young. Been single 2.5 years. Had a few one night stands and a short relationship that I had doubts about but he ended. I am lonely and I do miss the texts and visits when my child is in bed but I'm not willing to put myself through the upset again. Anyone else?

I’ve been single for 5 years, no dates or sex at all in that time. Not really through choice though but it gets easier the longer you leave it.

The last guy wasn't good enough. Seems none of them are

God yes, absolutely stay single if you have a child already.

I've been single nearly 10 years. Much, much happier this way. Get plenty of sex. But no emotional entanglement.

I'd just put it to the back of my mind for now op. You can't decide to permanently be single because you never know what will happen or if you'll change your mind down the line. So why put so much thought into it? Also, its clear you don't seem to enjoy being single anyway.

Best thing you can do is try tonput your focus on other things and adopt the mantra of hakuna matata. Men come and go throughout life. Even if you find one that suits for a longer amount of time than others, chances are that that will change in a few years and you'll move on again. That's life.

So focus on self love. And as for the loneliness, look to friends, pets and social hobbies in the mean time.

I'm in my.early 30's single lone parent with one child, busy full time job and the child's activities.

I have the odd one night stand, or nights out with friends to socialise, but I have to be honest. I adore being single 🤣

I feel like there's no pressure on me, I don't have to negotiate or compromise on anything. I can watch what I want to watch on the TV , cook what I like for tea, go on holidays where I want to go. Decorate my home as I like.

I fucking love it 🤣 spouses are just drama and compromise and I can't be having it. I also like that my phone doesn't go off constantly for pleasantries/chats/arguments.

I'm freeeeeee

Watching with interest!
Spent over two decades dating (ltrs,short term ones, long distance, marriage!weekend only relationship), I feel I've given it a good go...More recently, I had a 'situanship' with someone for under 2 years which was intense emotionally but practically it couldn't progress due to being at different life stages....

I'm in a slightly different situation to you in that I'm now pregnant via a sperm donor & IVF as I just didn't have the time/energy/emotional reserves to try and build a connection with someone new to even consider it...I'm 39.

Am I hopeful for the future? Currently I'm just relieved that I didn't end up missing out on being a parent as that was my biggest concern...once the dust settles I think the same old problems will persist which are finding/meeting someone who I'm attracted to and vice versa/someone I genuinely care about and them about me/chemistry/sexual compatibility...it's going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack ..the only respite being without the need to 'escalate' the relationship further such as cohabitation/ marriage/ children.

Sorry, no practical advice other than live your best life now and if someone comes along great, if not, you're still living life to the fullest.

Seem to meet the 'wrong one's and end up feeling more lonely and miserable than when I was single. I have actually become confused as to what dating is or means as most of the guys I have met just want one thing and do not even bother with the dating bit after a few weeks

I don't like relationships. I never have. I can't do it to my mental health again.

I am with you totally on this - Having had a very abusive relationship in the past I do notice a decline in my mental health when I meet someone - there are too many insecurities and this is not good for mental health
It can be liberating to be on your own
I feel sorry for some couples that have become so depndant on their other half they would not know how to cope on their own

@Bluebells34

Seem to meet the 'wrong one's and end up feeling more lonely and miserable than when I was single. I have actually become confused as to what dating is or means as most of the guys I have met just want one thing and do not even bother with the dating bit after a few weeks

I've also come to the conclusion that meeting someone is random/unpredictable/it is about timing/coincidence/luck.

I think we've been led to believe that a check list of supposed 'attributes' will help us weed out the wrong ones ...

Most people did not meet online that I know - not the ones who've had significant, long term relationships/marriages anyway. They met randomly through work/university/college/school/on a night out.

I hear you! Single for 5 years with a few first dates. No sex. I feel great and enjoying single life! Every one of my friends have problems in their relationships that they talk to me about.

I've always kept a lazy eye on OLD which deep down I hate but seek like I need to make an effort.

Met someone I quite like a month ago so will happily see where it goes but if it doesn't make me happy it's not worth it because I know I can be on my own :)

You make it sound as if having a relationship is a sort of basic requirement in life. Is anybody pressuring you to? If not, why are you even asking yourself the question, let alone asking for outside input on it? It's a bit like posting 'I don't like mashed potatoes; never have. Anybody with me?' (the answer being: trust your own judgment about your own decisions regarding your own desires and your own feelings.)

No one is pressuring me. I just feel a bit meh about relationships anyway so single life for me. Sometimes it would be nice for someone to have my back but hey ho

Same here - happily single now. Always seemed to attract problematic men in the past. I honestly don't know how I did but I definitely have a pattern with that.

So for now, things are stable being single, no big ups and downs. I like it this way.

I'm the same. I have anxiety anyway so ups and downs cause me to lose it a bit

Relish it, OP. Don't settle for it. Relish it. You have all the time and all the freedom to do whatever you want. Many people have settled in relationships and would give an eye for solitude!

The only thing (might be being harsh but I’m in that mood) I like about currently being in a relationship is not being asked about my relationship situation, if I’m looking, when I’m going to date again etc etc. honestly being single was the best and I know next time I am I’ll stay that way unless I have one of those moments of fate! I had one of those too by the way and even that ended in tears 🙄

If you're not bothered about having the emotional connection, then just use tinder as a dial a dick service. No stress, no compromises, no arguments.

I can't even be bothered with that altmember. My last stupid relationship finished last week. I didn't even like him but I feel so tearful and lonely.

OP, you're bound to feel a bit off kilter for a while, if you've just broken up, even if you didn't like him loads. It's the adjustment period.

Does anyone find men quite boring though??

Yes and ugly.

Hahaha Sandra. Some of the men online look like they'd beat me up.

They are all projects. Even the rich successful and good looking ones! Hopeless.