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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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1 reply

Brighteyedtriangle · 15/11/2021 10:07

I had been with my partner for 10 years before we split 2 years ago. We lived together in the early years but had quite a toxic relationship. He can be pretty difficult and at times he was taking steroids massively emotionally abusive. I cant say i was blameless as could also be abit cruel. I left bought a house of my own we had a baby who lived with me. We got on most part but had many problems, mainly a complete lack of respect for eachover so we split just before lockdown, my choice. Lockdown happened and we were pretty much tied together still. He has wanted to get back together for the last two years with me blankly saying no. We have done the whole coparenting thing quite well too. Little one is happy we still do many things together as a family. Lately i dont know whether hes just worn me down or im weak we started sleeping together again. I dont love him as i used to but i do like him. He is a better person more helpful, generous. Kind of what i wanted out of him in the last years of our relationship.

Im just stuck i cant let go of my resentment for him. So i cant move forward either with or without him. I either need to move past the past and get back together and just be happy or just stop seeing him altogether. I dont know if moving forward is even possible and how to do it

OP posts:
supercali77 · 15/11/2021 10:37

Id say you cant make that decision unless you've been properly separated. Co parenting in one anothers company id say is a bit enmeshed until time has elapsed and proper boundaries are in place e.g. both people have definitely moved on. Id be wanting to seperate properly. Kids see one another separately. Limited 'family together ' time. Give that a few months and see how you feel then

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