Partner doesn’t want to see baby but wants older children

[Coconutyellow05]

Hey so my partner of 15 years has just decided to walk out and admit there is someone else - I’m absolutely devastated - I am in the family home at the moment although that is all up in the air with selling/ him buying me out etc - he now lives with his parents - he has our older daughter to stay over 1 night (not a weekend as he is at the pub) he will take our 3 year old out shopping but that’s us and doesn’t even ask to take the baby - I have asked him to have them this weekend but he has refused and said he doesn’t want them overnight only my eldest. I don’t actually want him to hav them so do I just accept it and let him live the single life - or would you make a scene and force him to have them - I wasn’t sure if I could say no and then in a few years time would he demand to start having them as they will be easier?

@timeisnotaline totally agree with you. He can't pick and choose. It will damage your kids. He has no right.

I think going to court would be beneficial here actually. It would force his hand as a judge isn't going to allow him contact with only one kid if you're offering him contact with all. This is very complicated and I really think getting some proper legal advice here will be very worthwhile. Don't put it off as in the meantime your kids are being divided and eldest is being a "favourite" which isn't good for any of them.

Can you email him so it is all in writing - say it isn't good for any of the children for only some to have contact as it will damage their relationship with him and each other.
It's in their best interests to have consistent, regular contact with him together so you are proposing he has them every other weekend and one night in the week.
If he refuses that and takes you to court, you have evidence that you are encouraging their relationship with him in the best interests of the children.