How do I get out of this?

[shs25]

So I'm married, have two youngish children from first marriage, and a toddler and baby on the way from this marriage. We house that neither of us could afford alone, particularly once the other had been bought out etc. Can't just insist it gets sold as there's far too much to do before it's marketable.

I'm so miserable and lonely. Fed up of doing everything on my own and not being looked after or thought about.

How do I get out of this? He won't leave, no matter what happens. I just have to put up and get the house done up so it can sold and we can separate, yes?

No matter what state the house is in, it’s marketable. Just sell it, accept any loss and consider it a fair exchange for being free. Good luck.

That's how I feel tonight. Just get rid and move on. I'll have to work out how to force his hand on that one....

I think getting advice from a solicitor would be advantageous for you.

Thanks @Anordinarymum.... I did sort of do that a while back. I think it's just down to what I'm prepared to do.... I could just leave and rent but it's hugely expensive and disruptive for the kids and it won't be a short term fix I doubt. Or I stay until we can sell the house. Or I stay and insist the house is sold now and suck up the big loss we'll inevitably have (and fight to get the money orientated chauvinist to agree to this).

All of these outcomes of course depend on a certain level of cooperation. Which will be lacking too.

You know sometimes you wonder how the hell you've got yourself into something...?!

All i can tell you is it's not a good situation when children are involved and there is no harmony or fun or respect for each other - they pick up everything you say and do.
The sooner you split the better - or patch things up properly and get to the root of the problem that exists between you.

My children witnessed their father being horrible and I took a long time to end things, but when he left it was peaceful in our house and like a cloud had lifted

Good luck

I know.... I wish I had a magic wand to magic us out. But I don't... so instead I wish to make it the least worst it needs to be.