Need to split. What do I need to know?

[WasteTheDifference]

Very long story short, and I may change a few details from real life
Dh and I been together 16 years, 3dc
Married for 5 years
He cheated before kids but I only find out after kids and we moved on ish no sex life at all really, I'm here for the kids really, we get on ok but that's it

Anyway a few things have happened including him telling me to fuck off in front of kids. I've realised actually it's better for them for us not to be together.

He is employed full time, earns about 1800 a month

I'm newly self employed And earn maybe 200 a month

We have some debt between us, mostly him but some me, no savings etc and we privately rent.
I'm terrified of being left to pay for majority of kids and dog and house on next to no money even though I know it will sort itself out in the end, it's the short term I worry about

I'm not going to do anything rash I want to make sure we are ok. I want to maybe get Xmas out of the way if I can deal with it that long

I would be so grateful for any advice. We have been together since I was 15 and I don't know any thing else

Have a look on entitled to website to see what benefits you would be entitled to.

You seem to be assuming you will be primary carer not 50-50. In that case he will have to pay maintenance. You can work out how much that will be on the csa website.
Is there a chance you could get a council house? Really depends on where you live.

Do you have family support/ access to free or cheap childcare? Would you be better off finding a job ? CAB can give you sone advice.

Just remember, you will be ok. Change is always scary. Best wishes

I doubt it would be 50:50 as he works very long hours. 8am-11pm 4 days a week

Would be very difficult for him to have them 50% of time (And don't think he would want to!)

I couldn't get a council house I don't think but pay low rent on my house at the moment anyway as it's a friend of the family.
I've had a look at entitled to so I think we would be on long term it's just the interim that scares me. He's the kind that will say and do all the right things but when he realises I'm serious will do his best to make sure I don't have any more of his money than necessary

You need to return to full time paid salaried work. Then look at any-additional top up benefits you may be entitled to and childcare vouchers. £200 per month is not going to support or house you and your children . You need to earn a full time wage and supplement with applicable credits.

I have only been doing this job a year, it will increase. It's going to be hard to get into full time employment as I haven't done that in 15 years, only got back into work at all in the past year or so after being out of it for 9 years raising the children

The 200 a month combined with universal credit, maintenance etc will be enough, however it's the short term I'm worried about

Obviously I will increase my hours as soon as I can

My business has the potential to bring in much more income in the next few years but I'm very much on the early days. I don't want to have to fine an out of home job full time if I can help it as I have the potential to earn the same amount working for myself

" I don't want to have to fine an out of home job full time if I can help it as I have the potential to earn the same amount working for myself"

"Anyway a few things have happened including him telling me to fuck off in front of kids. I've realised actually it's better for them for us not to be together"

Well if you and yr kids can continue to live like this and wait a number of yrs living like this , before yr business takes off , that is yr decision. A full time job now will help you out of this situation now , feed and house yourself and your children , while you continue build yr business.

It matters not really what he earns, in this situation. You need to support yourself in order to leave. You need full time a job to do that.

@CinstonWhurchill

" I don't want to have to fine an out of home job full time if I can help it as I have the potential to earn the same amount working for myself"

"Anyway a few things have happened including him telling me to fuck off in front of kids. I've realised actually it's better for them for us not to be together"

Well if you and yr kids can continue to live like this and wait a number of yrs living like this , before yr business takes off , that is yr decision. A full time job now will help you out of this situation now , feed and house yourself and your children , while you continue build yr business.

It matters not really what he earns, in this situation. You need to support yourself in order to leave. You need full time a job to do that.

So I won't manage if I leave him currently? I would get approx 350 maintenance, 250 child benefit the 200+ earned by me, then the universal credit, I worked it out and we would be ok, I just worry about doing things the right way round and making sure we aren't without in the short term

Keep in mind if you’re self employed it’s assumed you earn a certain amount for the purposes of universal credit. So you’ll get less money than if they calculated with &200 per month.

@Prettyconfused

Keep in mind if you’re self employed it’s assumed you earn a certain amount for the purposes of universal credit. So you’ll get less money than if they calculated with &200 per month.

I didn't know this, thank you