How long did it take your relationship to be normal

[Cluelessguessing]

We have been together for 7 years. Before we had our little girl we would relatively regularly be intimate. Maybe two or three times a week. And more often than not I was equally happy to partake.

18 months ago we had our little girl and since then I have had zero interest in sex. We are down to maybe once or twice a fortnight and I'm not that into it. But I go with it for his sake. He regularly hints for more like what we used to have.

I work 4 days a week in a very high pressure job (which doesn't pay that much, he's the bread winner and I rely on him somewhat) im single parent another one day and on weekends I'm either coparenting and being a wife or single parenting due to my husbands shifts. He regularly gets days a week at home on his own whilst I'm at work at LO is at nursery and whilst he earns more his job isn't stressful. Yet im still cleaning cooking dog walking doing the bedtimes trying to manage my own MH which isn't great sometimes and be a wife to him and a parent seeing as he doesn't help put much.

I just wondered

A. How long did it take before your libido went back to normal?
B. Should I find out if there's anything hormonal going on and speak to a GP
C. Am I unreasonable to think sex is just another chore I don't want to do?

You're clearly working more than him counting house work and parenting (though you aren't a single parent when he's at work!!) so it's not surprising you're tired and resentful.
Aim to redress the balance and you might start fancying him again more.

I reckon you'd have a higher sex drive if yiur partner acted like an actual partner and did his part. You'd feel respected, and you would be less knackered.

Personally, I'm not sexually attracted to someone who treats me as their skivvy.

If you take him out of the equation you wouldn’t be pestered for sex.
So would it be better or worse without him ?

I should have clarified re the single parenting.....his shifts mean he isnt here for around 3 days and nights ina row. So it's not like he comes home and helps at night. It's literally just me.

I have tried time and time again to address the balance but nothing changes. I either need to find a way to be OK with it or I will feel like thisnfor the foreseeable.

You accept it, change it, or move on.
When the resentment sets in it’s over anyway, so try to change it first.

If he does no housework, no parenting and treats you like a skivvy, why would you want to sleep with him?

You are his wife, not an appliance. Pestering for sex is not attractive either. No wonder you see it as a chore.

He needs to take some of the physical and mental load. Then you MAY feel more like having sex.

Sex begins outside the bedroom
If you are tired, resentful,you won't fancy it. Does your DH work away these 3 days?

@nannybeach yeah he does.

I'm sorry you're going through this but please don't appropriate the identity of single parent. A few consecutive days working opposite shifts is really not the same.

I won't lie to you, my libido isn't back to 'normal' and by that I mean almost 3 years on our sex lives has changed, and I don't have the same drive I did before having dd.
However in your situation, it's not surprising you have no sex drive. You're probably exhausted. I understand that you partner can't do anything on the 3 days he isn't at home, however you need to talk to him about pulling his weight when he is at home. This isn't a partnership you're currently in. You're running yourself ragged so he doesn't have to.