How do you move on from someone you don’t want to?

[Nov910]

How do you do it?
How do you train your brain that what you’re doing is for the best?
How do you make the ‘wrong’ things they did override the great times and good memories?
My heart is breaking but I know I need to do this🥲

What are the 'wrong' things they did? You've obviously used logical analysis to see that the rational thing to do is to move on.

By shifting the attention from them and onto you. Pour all the love, attention, compassion back into yourself.
Grief is just that, love with nowhere to go.

Good advice @BuddhaAtSea

Journal all the terrible things that have been done to you and re-read anytime you have a wobble.

As hard as it is you need to look at this with cold hard logic. Make an active decision to choose yourself, and your happiness.

Good luck

I write a pros and cons list.
Most often the cons list is longer.
I recommend no contact, removing their number and any social media.

I also think it's really healthy to take a break from relationships, then get back out there.
The old adage 'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else' is true in my experience (although I talking another relationship rather than casual sex for me personally).

Ultimately if they finished with you, you must respect their right to do that, if the relationship was wrong/damaging then there will be better relationships out there.

There are podcasts/Instagramers/you-tubers who discuss breakups and how to handle them, they can be useful. We've all been there and it gets easier x

I’m in the same boat @Nov910, although I’m not actually heart broken.

I’ve started a note on my phone, and keep adding bits to it. Then go back, read it, it does help my resolve.

It is hard, but it does get better

Time is the only true cure. Took me 5 years to finally get beyond someone. Be kind to yourself

Thanks all. It’s complicated and been messy in ways. Basically he’s a narcissist..I hate to even write that, but he doesn’t conform to all the points you watch or listen to so I’m feeling a bit lost and questioning who he is. I’m dreadfully sad but know moving on is for the best.