Hi I know it's late but I am sleeping down stairs with the dog tonight . I don't feel welcome up to sleep in my own bed .
My fiancé of 10 years has bipolar and it's only recently we found out . So before this when he treated me terribly I thought it was always my fault . I would say sorry constantly because I thought I was always horrible . He really knocked my confidence and I would say wore me down so much that I was petrified of him ever leaving me which he knew so would leave me at least once a week .
And for some stupid reason I love him and want to help him be better . He had an awful childhood and his whole family have gone no contact with him so I am all he has .
I have been on medication for anxiety for a few months and in that time my attitude has changed a bit . And I think he hates it so goes one step further to try to hurt me . Instead of crying begging him to stay I just say go on then or when he ignores me for days I'm not apologising for something I think
I have done.
I have an extremely demanding job and lately it's gotten worse . I work a good 15 hour days . And the last 3 weeks have got too much for me . I have ocd so my house and car is immaculate. But in these 3 weeks I havnt cared and not cleaned once and I admit it was pretty bad . I just felt so down and anxious that I literally wanted to just sleep . I am back to my normal self now after being on Valium for a week or two and the house is back perfect .
Last night he comes home from work and decided to just come
Out with that I can't deal with the dog and I have been absolutely shit since having him and everyone is saying the same . My mother had been up the house before I got home slagging me off to him and so had my daughter . I admit I did struggle with the dog the 1st few weeks but I absolutely adore him now . I'm the only
One who does everything for him and he's obsessed with me 😊. My mother walks him when I'm In work and has been cleaning the house but I have been paying her weekly . My partner hates the dog because I spend all my time with him . He's come home today and not spoken to me at all . Flipped out and stormed off to bed because the dog started barking for his ball . I know I need to end this