anxiety regarding exH

[joannabloggs]

Im looking for some insight, my exH had the kids the last few days and I feel so shocked by this wave of emotion about him. I feel like im restarting to grieve for the loss over again. I was with him and could see clearly why I married him and likewise I could also see why I had issues with him but i dont know why i wanted him to want me again. I feel very silly for all this and cried for days about it. Im wondering is my period due what on earth is happening to me!?! anyone been through this ...

I would imagine this is a very common situation and emotional reaction. I had something similar a few days ago, but it was fleeting because then I realised what an emotionally , mentally, financially abusive he is and I snapped out of it...I too , was due a period!!! I dunno what that is but I think it's only natural to have these moments or feelings especially when you see him with your kids etc ... go easy on yourself, it's all a journey x

thanks for answering hopeful22 youre so right xxx

How long ago did you split up? Was it mutual? I think all these things impact how you feel about it.
I have been spending more time with my exh because we're doing secondary school visits together for our oldest DC. It's been strange because we're going through a relatively 'nice' period where he's been friendly and helpful whilst my life is a bit chaotic atm (renovations and restructure at work).
So even though I'm really happy without him now I did find myself having 'moments' of thinking - wouldn't it be nice to have that stability again.
I find it's helpful to distinguish the 'fantasy' of what the marriage represented with the reality of what it was like on a day to day basis.
Try to remember all the reasons you separated - what he was actually like and how that made you feel.

But yes I can understand wanting him to want you again. It's that sense of validation. When we separated everyone said that he would regret it later and want to come back (it was his decision) but that never happened despite him admitting that he'd made a mistake in blaming his problems on the marriage.

I think it's so hard when you're coparenting and have to see that person all the time.

The other day I was late getting the DC back and he called then texted then called again and I had this familiar sense of panic about his reaction. It reminded me of how horrible it was to live with someone who was constantly critical.