Last summer I met someone through distant but mutual friends. We grew up in the same place. He was very very keen but also very nice. I started to find the contact quite intense after a few months and by February I had to actually ask him if he could not message me continually if I hadn’t replied for a couple of hours or so. I didn’t feel harassed and I do like a lot of contact but this seemed to be on another level. I felt like he almost didn’t trust me or something but had no reason not to. We got on really well though. He wasn’t massively happy about the contact comment, he wasn’t angry or rude and said he would cut it back but he enjoyed messaging. I asked if we could have a break for a bit and he said a break was a breakup to him. I was really confused as I did want to be with him but found it all quite full on. I’m sure I didn’t behave perfectly either!
Anyway, a few months later we were in touch again. Lots of nice phone calls and chats. He asked if I wanted to go over, I said yes. I got there and he’d got wine, music, candles. Clearly made an effort. He invited me round again to watch a film and then one night we kissed. It seemed great and a lot calmer than the last time we were seeing each other.
After a few weeks, I text on the way to his to say my eta and he tells me not to come over but won’t say why, vaguely that he’s working. It was all really strange.
To cut a long story short, it has now turned out from some Facebook browsing that three months before we started seeing each other again, he was actually in a relationship with someone and she was pregnant but living abroad at this time…he had been tagged in all this, pregnant updates etc and then the week after he told me not to come over, there was a photo posted of them together saying ‘reunited’ with heart emojis. During this time I had been messaging him asking what was going on and he was pleasant to begin with but didn’t explain and the more confused I was the more nasty he got, basically saying I ‘hadn’t changed’ 
and that I needed to move on and he regretted ever meeting me. Obviously then I didn’t know where this had come from. When I found out about the relationship i contacted him and asked why he’d lied and he said it was none of my business and he didn’t know about the pregnancy until recently… yet the Facebook dates show this woman updating her status three months before me and him met again?! At the time he was seeing me the travel restrictions meant he couldn’t be with her I can only assume.
Can Facebook updates be retrospective? Could she have updated the relationship status and the other post of photos tagging him with the pregnancy but back dated it? I didn’t think you could do that but he claimed he’d only just found out she was pregnant after we’d met a few times…and I don’t get why he’d have met me if that wasn’t true?! But she was pretty pregnant in the photos and the date of the update was two/three months before me and him started meeting again.
I know essentially it doesn’t matter now but finding this out has been a shock and I’ve spent a while thinking he was such a great man that was in a tricky situation when now I am thinking fuck he was seeing me when he knew of all that? And then got nasty with me when I didn’t know what was going on. It doesn’t make any sense to me, he was always such a nice man.