Hello, I'm trying to unravel the threads of a failing marriage and am realising I never really knew who my H is.
There was lots of turmoil in his family (which includes children from his first marriage) and I have never been able to ask anyone directly what's caused all the multiple fallouts. They're not just because of one thing, but again and again over the years. It's weird, it's like it's all happened at a distance to me. He sees them and talks to them individually (those he's currently speaking to) and sometimes tells me, but there's never an opportunity to speak freely. It seems totally toxic, all of it.
Has anyone encountered this? It's just so confusing, to realise you never knew any of them really or what was going on. I don't think it's a secret but I think it's something to do with the kind of bizarre emotional abuse he's meted out to me. He has them mostly blocked or tightly controlled on social media, but every now and then he will get close to one of them but then there'll be an upset again.
As I work through what's been quite comlpex control and emotional abuse in my own marriage, I'm trying to understand the role this might play and how best to protect my kids from it moving forward.