Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I be worried about my son?

5 replies

Mumtosons · 12/11/2021 23:29

My son is 15. Had a couple of issues when he started high-school, before then he was an angel. A people pleaser really and I've seen a bit of manipulative side.

He's naturally smart and always said he'll stay on at school then go to uni to study physics, but now I think he just tells me what I want to hear. He's told another family member he is going to leave as soon as he turns 16 for apprenticeship - what area that would be in even he doesn't know. I have his zoom parents evening next week and I'm not sure what I'm going to hear. He's already admitted he's behind with his homework and that one of his teachers apparently doesn't like him.

He is popular and as I said naturally smart (although not a genius, he'll have to work to get the best grades) but all he seems to care about is his looks. He used to model so is a good looking boy but all he talks about is his clothes/hair/how many girls fancy him.

Could this just be a phase? Has anyone been in a similar situation and their child changed priorities? Is there anything I can do? I think pushing too hard will push him away but I also don't want him ruining his chances at a good start to adult life.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
1MillionDollars · 12/11/2021 23:47

Leave him be. It's his life. Advise and gently guide.

What else can you do?

He will resent it even more if you try to tell him what to do.

Advise and tell him it's his life.

Mumtosons · 13/11/2021 00:08

Thank you so much. I feel that it's the best way but I'm also obviously worried as he's still a child and whether I'm doing the right thing. Thank you x

OP posts:
1MillionDollars · 13/11/2021 00:16

Don't listen to me, I'm just telling you what I'd do. I learnt it from that wonderful parenting for dummies 101x

Advise, guide and be supportive is my philosophy.

titchy · 13/11/2021 00:20

What are you actually worried about? If he decides to leave school and get an apprenticeship would that be so bad? If he doesn't like it he can always go back to college a year or two later.

I think being interested in girls/boys and personal appearance is pretty par for the course for any teen so don't worry about that!

Cameleongirl · 13/11/2021 00:42

My DD (16) has changed alot during the last year and is very focused on doing well at school and going to a good university. This time last year she was nothing like as driven, they change so much at this age.

The key for DD was realizing that she wanted to have choices and good grades would give her that. She isn't doing well to please her her parents, it's for herself, so SHE can choose what she wants to do next, IYSWIM. We don't try to push her in a certain direction, we just say that if she works hard now, she'll have choices.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page