It's not happening is it?

[digitalvertigo]

I'm supposed to be going on a first date tonight, all seemed a-ok, so was just trying to sort out details and I messaged her back at 9am this morn to see if meeting at 7 was cool...tumbleweed, she hasn't replied yet, almost 5 hours ago.
Which is fine for anything else, but I think taking this long is a bit weird considering we haven't met yet...and it's tonight
Shall I just send a message saying don't worry about it? Lost my excitement for the night now anyway.

Have you had to arrange childcare?
Could you do something else? Visit a friend?

Yes it seems flakey at best.

@Moretodo I haven't no, and not the same at all but I did need to work out when best to get ready, walk the dog and avoid the rain! I thought so, it's fine if she doesn't want to I'd just like to be able to get on with the day

You don't need to message her again. Yes she has probably had a change of heart and doesn't know how to tell you. Get yourself a nice meal or arrange to meet friends.

@Yummypumpkin thankyou, I will do :)

Could she not be working and hasn't seen or been able to respond to the message yet?

Yeah, be prepared to plan something else for tonight. But I would also be less black and white in such situation, giving that you have not even met and are thus strsngers. Perhaps she is not able to answer due to work, maybe she got hit by a car, maybe she is a some kind of last minute plans type of person, or there might be whatever reason not responding to you in the time frame you expect. Maybe she is unhappy because she wanted you to ask the details last night so she could plan properly ahead and is now punishing you? Not saying it is cool or ok. Just saying that it is too black and white thinking that if the person does not respond in the time frame you think is appropriate then her heart is not in it.

Not sure why you assume she's seen the message? It's not even mid afternoon yet. Might be working? Busy?

@Sunshineandflipflops she could be but she usually messages a bit during work hours and she WFH. It just seems a bit odd that today is the day she hasn't. Takeaway and netflix it is then!

Oh, and I would probably be prepared do to all the necessary preparations (walk the dog, shower, get dressed, whatever) and ask her around 6pm again (I havent received your answer, is everything ok?). And then decide what to do with my night.

@rattlemehearties

Not sure why you assume she's seen the message? It's not even mid afternoon yet. Might be working? Busy?

Probably WhatsApp, you can see when messages are read

@kuusk thanks, this is a great message! I agree and I would say the same to friends, it's much more difficult to apply when it's yourself, but I'll try and have this perspective more :)

@Fatgalslim yeah she's been online and not read it. Not looking good!

Takeaway and Netflix can be great!! You sound very nice. If she has indeed changed her mind and not told you then have a nice cold glass of "dodged a right one there"

@Yummypumpkin thanks oh I will and then move onto a "being single means more takeaway for me anyway"

I know, being in your situation is bloody lame and I understand how the exitement gets lost. I hope she has some real reason and you will eventually be happily in love, but if not, eh, you sound nice and hopefully find the right woman :)

This happened with my now husband on our second date, turned out he just wasn’t very good at responding or making arrangements, still isn’t. Chin up, all might not be lost! X

I'd be sending her a message, to be honest, saying that as you've not heard from her, the date's off. Take charge.

Yeah, sod that. Life's too short for flaky dates. If she can't be bothered to make the effort now then there's no hope.

@digitalvertigo
Did she get in touch with you?

@Babyghirl No, I've probably ended up looking like an arse now tbh but the flaky factor was too strong for me with this one. So, she still hadn't replied at 5, so I sent a friendly message just saying don't worry about tonight. She replied saying she still wanted to?! And thought she'd replied earlier...even though she hadn't read the message on Whatsapp and had been online throughout the day
Maybe that's true, I don't know, no bad feeling towards her but by now I'd already mentally checked out of the whole thing and organised a date with Deliveroo/Netflix, hair mad from walking dog in drizzle, in joggers and cavetroll mode, so I just said sorry I thought it wasn't happening so I've made other plans, have a good weekend!
Now I feel a bit bad, probably should've gone, but don't think it was a good start and spent the day overthinking it, which was annoying.
Making my way through Peep Show for the 374239the time instead

Hugs OP. Maybe the two of you will uncross your wires another time, but not having heard til 5pm it wasn't unreasonable for you to make other plans.

@digitalvertigo
Dont feel bad at all, not your fault abit late for her to say she still wanted to meet. If she said she thought she replied and you seen she had not even read the msg, you will find the love off your life someday someone who gives you her all enjoy your weekend and spoil yourself, if she is interested she will be in touch but don't run after her. Let her do the running from now on.

I wfh and would be majorly annoyed by the need to confirm something that was already planned and agreed, during my working day. Not every day is crazy but some days are really busy and I don't reply to texts from friends let alone people I never met (however attractive!)

I would quite possibly be on WhatsApp as well, talking to kids, but wouldn't think that confirming what I already committed to is a priority unless there is a change of plan or emergency.

@aLittleL1fe

I wfh and would be majorly annoyed by the need to confirm something that was already planned and agreed, during my working day. Not every day is crazy but some days are really busy and I don't reply to texts from friends let alone people I never met (however attractive!)

But it wasn't already planned and agreed. She hadn't replied to OPs suggestion of a time.