Have NC for this as it's a bit outing.
My partner and I have been together for around 4 years, both at university (although not the same one). A little while after we started dating, he was diagnosed with depression.
There were some really low and quite scary patches to start, but on the whole it's been manageable. However, this year his mental health has been declining again. He's really down a lot of the time and we spend a lot of time on the phone (messaging or talking) helping him work through it.
It's getting really really difficult for me to deal with and to be honest it's exhausting me mentally. I'm worried about him most of the time, and it's exacerbated by the fact that we're long distance. I miss who he was without the depression, it feels like I'm seeing fewer and fewer glimpses of that person.
I know it's not his fault and I feel really guilty for thinking like this. I have encouraged him to get therapy and he said he would but nothing has happened so far. I know that he needs to actively make that decision for it to have any effect and I can't just force him into it.
He's a really kind, funny guy who treats me really well and I love him to pieces, but I'm really struggling with this. I have expressed to him a few times how this is making me feel and that's often when he promises to get help, but nothing has really changed and it feels like things are getting worse.
Not really sure what I wanted to get out of this thread to be honest, probably just needed to vent and maybe see if anyone else has any advice or has been through anything similar. Thanks if you've read this far!