Am I asking too much?

[Jemmasboys]

I have been talking to a friend of a friend for 6 months, we started a relationship 6 weeks ago and everything has been going great.
However as a back story, he was taking to other ladies alongside me but denied it each time I asked. As a result I have low trust in things he says and often doubt if he is really is at work etc, as I worry he will lie again or cheat.
I have told him this and he said he will do everything he can to build the trust back up because he doesn’t want to lose me, but he hasn’t done anything.
We haven’t been on a date, he comes to my house and we watch tv and have sex basically. I do have children so we can’t spontaneously go out for dinner or anything, it would take a lot of planning. He has told me we will do this and progress our relationship, but it continues as it is.
Today I asked him outright will it ever happen, his reply is that he doesn’t know what to do to fix it, he essentially wants me to tell him what to do so he can do it.
I don’t want us to have that kind of relationship where I have to expect things or ask him to take me on a date. I know this will make me feel resentful that it didn’t come from him wanting to treat me only because I have told him to do it.
I’m expecting many of you to say it’s too much work and to end it, but I don’t want that I want to work on this and build it up together.
What can I do or say? What would you expect your man to do in this situation? Any tips please? He has taken it personally that he isn’t a good enough partner and now I am thinking if I am asking too much for him to fix the trust issue he caused, and not to suggest dates if he is not going to take me on them.

It sounds like he has an easy life; sex and no effort needed. Value yourself a lot more and stop hoping he’ll take you on a date; tell him to step up

I don’t know why you’re bothering really as you don’t trust him

He's using you for sex

I think for you to have so many issues six weeks in that maybe he is not for you. You have both skipped the fun bit of dating and doing nice things together and that suits him just fine, I would accept that he does not want to make the effort and as it stands does not need to as he can come over, you feed him and then you have sex. It sounds terribly boring for six weeks in.

So, he lies and cheats, doesn’t take you out, makes no effort whatsoever and is using you for sex. But you want to work on it. Why, exactly?

I really hope this person hasn’t been introduced to your children. Please get rid of him.

So you told him you want him to plan a date, and he didn't. Then you told him it again, and he said he doesn't know what you want him to do. (Which makes him either a lazy liar or very unintelligent.)
I don’t want us to have that kind of relationship where I have to expect things or ask him to take me on a date
You're in a relationship where even though you ask him to take you on a date, he still doesn't.
What would you expect your man to do in this situation?
I'd expect him to ask me out of his own accord, without prompting, either straight away or after I had asked him out once.

But you said because of your children it would be difficult to go out for dinner, it would take huge amount of planning then you complain he has not taken you on dates... He has asked what he can do to fix this issue.. I think you need to organise childcare and give him a date and time. Not fair to expect him to do all the leg work and it sounds as if you have given him mixed messages about what you expect

Op said it would be hard to go out spontaneously, i.e. he would have to suggest a date so she can arrange childcare.

You don't trust him because he lied. He doesn't make you happy.

The end. Surely?

He could plan a date at your house - set up a lovely picnic with all your favourite foods on a blanket in the lounge.
Does he even bring a bottle of wine? Does he know what your favourite foods are? You can’t make another person put effort in if they don’t want to. It sounds like he doesn’t want to
Sorry op. Get out of this now before he erodes your self esteem further. He is using you for sex and has no interest in moving the relationship in any other direction

However as a back story, he was taking to other ladies alongside me but denied it each time I asked

You are so much worth more.

He's created a 'crises' so you'll bond in a ' you and me against the world' scenario.

Someone on MN said ' you can't watch a liar'
Tis true.

A liar lies. It's what they do. And no, he won't change.

@WhoppingBigBackside

He's using you for sex

^ Got in a sentence. If he thought enough of you to take you on a date then you would have already been on one.

You’ve not been seeing someone for 6 weeks, you’ve been having sex someone and that’s all he wants from you.

@MooncakeandAvocato

So, he lies and cheats, doesn’t take you out, makes no effort whatsoever and is using you for sex. But you want to work on it. Why, exactly?

I really hope this person hasn’t been introduced to your children. Please get rid of him.

This x1000!!

You're six weeks in. The honeymoon period. But he can't even be arsed to take you on a date.

Just get rid and move on.