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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just a slump or have my feelings changed?

2 replies

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 10/11/2021 19:04

I don’t really know what’s wrong. Or what I want from this thread. Just to talk, maybe, to air my thoughts.

I’m 41, married for ten years, together for 15. We have three young kids. I adore this man and have done since the moment I met him. We are far from perfect and in the beginning our relationship was quite rocky. We were young and drinking / going out a lot and drinking, that couple that would break up loads and everyone expected it not go last. Well…it did and we settled down into a very loving and stable relationship. It has been this way for years and years. We have a lot of fun, are very playful with each other, very much in love and support and care for each other. Life is pressured and we bicker sometimes. Sometimes he really irritates me; I’m positive at times I irritate him! We give each space and generally coast along.

Lately my head has been turned by someone else. My boss - such a bloody cliche. Absolutely zero sense of reciprocation and no hint at ALL of anything close to an EA. I just look up to him, we get on well, and now I fantasise about him - about me and him together and how it would be. I know myself well enough to know how enticing a hint of an EA can be and I am alert to myself that I do not ever let anything creep in. I talk about my family a lot. I would never cheat on my husband - the thought of doing that to him and our children is abhorrent.

It’s just…I don’t know. Lately it’s just the thought of being with my husband for the rest of our lives is just…a bit much. Is that awful to feel like that? Is it normal? I don’t think I want to leave my husband - I love and adore him. But what is this phase I am going through? Is it just a slump? Is it normal?

OP posts:
Munchkinpumpkin · 10/11/2021 19:44

Just think its a natural alarm bell subconsciously that your relationship needs a little shake up somewhere.. some attention

sunnyzweibrucken · 11/11/2021 00:06

I can’t imagine being with someone for that long and not have feelings of restlessness or boredom. However he sounds like a wonderful man and you adore him - I wouldn’t jeopardize that for the slim pickings that are available in the dating pool and not even for your boss (which is just a crush because you’re a little bored)

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