New friend knows too much about me!

[JC2021]

My own doing! I shared a lot with her about my relationship, my husband cheating in the past and our power dynamics at home, with him earning all the money.

She never opened up about anything, nothing about her relationship she just sat and listened.

I don't feel like I can face her again.

She knows too much when I had no one else to confide in and I should have held back and kept my boundaries.

I feel more exposed as she shared nothing :/

She seemed great at listening but I really don't know her too well and feel bad for my husband that I opened up too much.

I feel embarrassed and wished that I had said far far less

What to do?

Do you have mutual friends? Is she someone you see a lot? If not could just put it down as a serendipitous opportunity to offload and move on.

Well you can't un-say it so better not to brood on what's done but move forward into what you can change. You can change what you divulge in future.

You shared because you needed someone to talk to. It’s human.
And you shouldn’t feel bad for your H unless what you said is somehow not true.
Women have forever had to pretend and cover up the actions of men, to save face and maintain appearances. Why is it still on you?

Many a friendship of mine started this way. People open up to me often and I listen well. Takes me a lot longer to open up myself. Some did become friends over time. Others didn’t.

Don’t overthink this too much.

Thanks everyone- really appreciate it. We don't know the same people but she is inviting me out with some of her friends and I dread to think of she's told them my life story and relationship history:/

I’m often the one that people tell a lot to first as it takes me a while to open up; I would never then pass that information on and at some point I do share more

Firstly I know how this feels. I did the same and now can’t face that person. I’ve now booked a weekly therapist and I use that hour to vent and honestly, it’s worked wonders. I don’t need to rely on friends now for emotional support. I can just enjoy their company. Get a therapist and go along to the event and give it a try. If you get weird vibes. Leave early. If anyone says anything personal just wave it off and say “oh I was having a bad day” have a few interesting news stories to talk about and divert by asking them questions about their lives.

So now you've unburdened yourself to her and got a few things off your chest and probably made yourself feel better by talking - and she's been a good friend and listened - she's surplus to requirements so you want to end the friendship because now she knows too much? I'd feel used if I was her sorry OP

"she is inviting me out with some of her friends and I dread to think of she's told them my life story and relationship history:/"

But why do you think she will have told them anything? If she's invited you out with her friends, it seems more likely that she hasn't said anything. It's easy to feel uncomfortable if you think you've overshared (I often overshare - I keep vowing to stop "showing people my knickers" :)) but honestly, unless you're famous or married to someone who is, complete strangers probably won't be that interested in your story anyway. If you like her and are interested in a night out with her and her friends, why not just take the invitation at face value and join them.

Everyones got problems, dont assume everyone will judge you, if shes a good friend she'll have had empathy for you and not shared with anyone. Dont worry about it now.

I think most people will understand that relationships and lives are complicated and also that people need to vent and discuss things so I'm sure she won't be judging you for offloading to her.
If she's invited you out I very much doubt she thinks anything bad of you.
You may have made a great friend in her, I wouldn't avoid her now as you can't take back what you've shared so seeing her again, or not seeing her again makes no odds to that.

OP I am like your friend - a natural listener and take longer to open up - and have many times had people feel they have overshared to me, often after a few drinks! I would never judge anyone or repeat anything they have told me though.