Have you got toxic relationships? Have you got out of them?

[lolaflores]

There is an article in today's Guardian about toxic relationships. How it effects you, why people tolerate them (they e been friends for so long etc).
I've got one or two still in my life, though one of them I've put some distance between us but another one, still involved quite islet and one of my oldest friends
I've removed myself from ones that I've known for less time.
I'd love to hear other peoples experiences and have you successfully disengaged and if you havent, what are your coping mechanisms?

Do you think the other person sees it as "toxic" or are their other relationships the same?
Do they find us? I know one of the worst encounters I had, I definitely felt that I'd been gone in on in an intense manner which should have been a red flag but I ignored my misgivings.

I think it’s very difficult if you’ve been friends for a long time. My oldest friend has gone very toxic during lockdown. Conspiracy theories. Ranting. Political rankings. It’s utterly exhausting and not fun to hang out with her. We used to gossip and have a right laugh but now she’s got angry eyes and is belligerent towards the world and it’s hard to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t lighthearted some of the time. I’m still in there because she’s my oldest friend but if it was anyone else I’d just stop calling/texting. I want fun with friends not to feel like I’m signed up to a politics degree!!!

Just begin to be vague, make yourself unavailable, take time responding to texts etc. or alternatively as ive done with a narc SIL - just block and remove number, avoid at family dos etc. Sometimes its just not worth your headspace!

If they are just friends, then I just cut them out of my life ASAP. No what ifs, no regrets, any fall out again well no big deal. Better off without them in your life.

I'm ruthless but noone knows how long we have left, so I'm not wasting my time or energy with people like that in my life.

I do think Pandemic has put strange pressures on friendships.. a friend of mine began to talk about conspiracies etc. I expressed my views and we left it at that. Went about our usual business but I was surprised.
I had to make an absolute run for the hills with someone. I mean, really extricate myself. There were abusive messages and a real campaign of viscious back lash that were a part of her I'd never witnessed before. It was someone I didnt know.