Relationship

[Hernamelola73]

Hi please someone tell me I'm overreacting. I moved back to my house a week ago. Ive been back home with my mum for a year looking after her. Old boyfriend moved out and I went home with new boyfriend. I found my old boyfriends divorce papers and noticed the ex wife had the same surname as current boyfriend. I asked if he knows he said yes. I asked if they were related he said no. So I asked were you married and he said yes. I'm now totally freaked out. This woman has been married about 8 times at least. I know I'm overreacting but it's so put me off him. I know it's not his fault but I now don't feel the same. I loved him so much. We were together at school and just found each other again. I feel like everything is spoilt. Like why are these men hurrying off to marry this woman then landing on me when they get dumped for the next one. I can't even explain why it's made me feel so rubbish. Sorry this doesn't make much sence.

Your post is a bit confusing, but basically your last 2 boyfriends were married to the same woman?

Hell of a coincidence unless she's the only straight woman in the village

That's it yes. Both boyfriend were married to her. She's I think boyfriend one was number 6 and current boyfriend was number. There's been more since. I'm a bit baffled as to why it's changed how I feel but it has. I've not had a wink of sleep tonight.

Also thanks for replying. I thought it was so pathetic nobody would reply

Try to get some sleep and park this to the morning

Sadly my work alarm goes off in 20 minutes

You know that many people have the same surname, right ? Like, just because he has the same surname as someone , it doesn't mean he has been married to them ? Don't know why I'm bothering to answer this post, I mean it's totally nonsense.

@starrynight21 He's told her was married to her too.

Op I do see where you're coming from and yes, it would put me off too, but then I couldn't go with someone if I knew their previous girlfriend- way too weird for me! So some will say you're overreacting, but I don't think you are, he hasn't done anything wrong, he hasn't lied about it, but if it freaks you out, it does, there's not much you can do about it

It sounds like a remarkable coincidence, almost too remarkable. Is there more to this - are they all in the same group of friends, that you've joined later? Did your current boyfriend know all along, or only became aware at the point you asked him?

His responses seem a bit evasive - when you asked if they were related he should've declared it then, not waiting until you specifically asked if they were married.

She sounds a bit crazy - who get's married 8+ times?? Once is enough for most people!

He's being very cagy about it to be honest. He clames he had no idea my ex was married to her too but that's not true. I texted my ex and he said after she'd cheated on him with someone she met my now boyfriend. Becouse my ex made her wait to years for a divorce she changed her name by deed pole to my current boyfriends name till they could get married. He also said when she then cheated on and dumped my current boyfriend he kept messaging him becouse he thought she'd gone to him. Also my ex was a herion adict. Obviously I didn't know that when I met him. I hate drugs. His family managed to get him clean. Then she done such a number on him he got back on it. So I ended up unwittingly picking up the shit. It's all made me feel really different now about my boyfriend who has now gone totally silent

Oh and no they weren't in the same friends group. She mostly seems to get her fresh victims from her place of work. Ex worked with her and also lived next door too her. When she'd fine with him after a whole year she sent him back and moved the next one in.

Err no you’re not overreacting. If true it’s very weird. Leave them all to it.

This is beyond weird. No you aren't over reacting.

Unless the population of your town is 10, the chances of dating someone who has been married to the same woman many years ago that your ex was married to, are like winning the world's shittiest lottery.

End it. Move on. And ensure you don't ever have a connection to this woman again.

Not over-reacting.

It's all a bit Jeremy Kyle

I think it's time you broadened your horizons a bit and got out of you home village/town.

I was really happy. I feel really sad

I think this is very odd. No wonder that you're freaked out. Looks like you and her have exactly the same taste in men, and then some.

Considering he's lying to you about the fact he knew your ex id say there's a lot more to this story.

Don't be with someone who lies to you OP.

I think you’re overreacting. As long as the ex isn’t a close friend or relative of yours, it’s not really any of your business who they were with before you.

Thanks that's just reply I needed. I know it's really none of my business. It's not eigher of thair faults. She needs to see someone I think to have I think ten husbands she must have issues. She's messed a lot of men up I should think. I should let someone like that mess up something that's been so lovely. My insecurity my problem

Right oh, so you ask advice, have it confirmed off most that it's weird and 1 person says it's ok - bingo, you're jumping on that . You know you won't end it, but it will mess with your head, how could it not.
It's the lying from the off that would put me off him. He knew from the start and kept it from you.

You're all right though aren't you. It's true he's not telling me stuff. I don't know if it's becouse it's all a bit horrible and embarrassing or becouse he new how I'd react. It's also possible not my place to get so worked out about it. It's the old case I suppose of not being ready to lose someone you love. It's changed things though I think. I defenitly haven't got my head in the clouds anymore. It will eigher work or it won't. I'm just done crying about it. No nans worth so many tears.

Also he's saying he didn't know my ex was married to her to. It's highly unlikely he didn't knew. I've had it confirmed by my ex. I'm just waiting to see if he eventually admits it.

@Hernamelola73

Thanks that's just reply I needed. I know it's really none of my business. It's not eigher of thair faults. She needs to see someone I think to have I think ten husbands she must have issues. She's messed a lot of men up I should think. I should let someone like that mess up something that's been so lovely. My insecurity my problem

If she's been married 10 times you need to wonder why these men keep marrying her - including your current boyfriend.

I don't know why you came here if you're just going to let him keep lying to you but I hope it works out the way you want.

What are the odds?!

It seems to me like a lot of drama. But you need to stop putting all the responsibilities for these previous relationships onto the other woman. Your boyfriend and your ex both chose to be with her at the time.

If you aren't comfortable with that, that's your right.

If you have insecurities in the first place then I am not surprised you are feeling out of sorts. It’s really a bit of an odd situation. There is a reason your partner is hiding information from you. Perhaps he feels highly embarrassed that he got caught in this woman’s web then discarded and wants some distance from it? He is probably feeling awkward too that he is dating someone with previous links to her with your ex. All in all, if it’s put you off then that’s it. Try and move on and hopefully you won’t meet one of her victims again,