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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unhappy but not brave enough to leave

1 reply

leostardust · 08/11/2021 20:37

We're both in our late 20's and have been together for 3 years, no children. The first 2 were happy, but this last year I've found particularly hard.

Without going into too much rambling detail, I hit a very low point with my mental health early this year, and had a brief online fling with another man. No actual sex took place, just sexting etc, which of course is still wrong me. DP discovered what was happening but somehow we've muddled along past it. However, I'm still finding myself unhappy with our relationship, but I don't seem to be able to let it go. We both love each other still, but due to my infidelity the dynamic has definitely changed. The atmosphere between us can be really uncomfortable and we've got some serious issued around sex (DP wants it, I don't, my libido is shot).

I think the best thing for us both is to go our separate ways, but I'm so petrified of being single and feeling desperately alone. I worry my mental health will take a nose dive again. That being said, I think remaining in the relationship is also having a negative effect on my mental health and I know, despite my wrong doings, I shouldn't accept some of the questionable (red flag worthy?) behaviour/language thats been aimed at me by him.

I'm not so much looking for answers here. I just needed to vent and have a chat. I have few friends to talk with and I don't have a good relationship with anyone in my family either. Feeling very alone, anxious and worried.

OP posts:
freeatlast2021 · 08/11/2021 20:53

No need to be worried OP. You know what you need to do, just have to work up a courage to take the first step. Some relationships work and some do not and it is not the end of the world. You are SOOOOO young, no kids, your whole life is still ahead of you. You have time to meet many people and find the perfect one. No need to be scared and waste your precious time with this one.

I have just left my husband of twenty five years. Yes, it was really scary as our lives were really entangled, however three months after he moved out I already feel so much better, calmer, happier. I am in my 50s and am not thinking of another relationship at all, just being on my own, being my own boss and having some peace and quiet. Precious. Sending you some positive energy. Flowers

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