Is there hope?

[itsharddating]

Just walked away from a long term relationship, where I had been clear all along that I wanted a husband and a family, but now he isn't sure because while he loves me as a person, he struggles to find me attractive sexually, as he struggles to find women attractive beyond a certain age. He's asked me to diet and go to the gym more, to retain my looks. Bearing in mind, he is the one who is punching and I look 10 years younger than I do. I genuinely believe he is emotionally stunted in some way and thinks more like a teenager than a grown adult. Anyway, I am late 30s now, he is in his 40s, and I need to press on ahead with dating without him. I will try dating apps and meet up groups. But I am scared. Are all men like this? I read so many threads on here, of time waster men who are holding out for 21 year old models, and leading women my age on with promises of a family, then when it comes to it, nothing happens. Have any of you met your good partners in middle age and gone on to have lovely families?

No.

Sorry, but absolutely no.

This man will destroy your self confidence, keep you on tenterhooks for years ('Will he, won't he? Can I change him? Will he change if I stay long enough? Will I ever be enough? What if he meets someone younger etc').

You've done a very brave thing and you are absolutely right to have done it.

I salute you!

Og God yes, I met my true real love aged 44.

He sounds absolutely disgusting. As hard as this is, you are free! I left a 50 something man in my 30s who made me feel like I was 90. The fucking audacity of making you feel like an old withered zombie and you're in your 30s, what a joker.

Enjoy your new freedom, take it easy, build yourself up, emotionally, confidence wise, ease in to any online dating, it's not easy, but anything is better than people like him.

And does he, and all the rest, realise that women in their 20s "struggle" to find judgemental men in their 40s attractive?

I met Mr me when we were both early 30s. Had baby #1 almost bang on 2 years later but we were both most definitely on exactly the same page. He didn't want to be too old a dad, first pregnancy bit earlier than we expected but just went with it. But we were not gym bunnies or anything like that so we thought it best to take a leap in the dark together.

Are all men like this?
No, not all men are like this. In fact i am not sure i know even one man who is as you describe (although i do know some who are awful/dysfunctional in other ways)

Have any of you met good partners?
Yes, i met my amazing husband at 35... we are on our babymoon right now, having got married, bought a house and got pregnant in 3.5 years! He is my best friend and i never expected to meet anyone as perfect for me as he is.

Good luck and well done for leaving that asshat ex of yours

What. A. Prick.

Makes me shudder. No, OP, not all men are like this. Very few actually, you've just been unlucky.