premature ejaculation

[p4dib]

Hi everyone. Hope I can get some advice here please. DH is a lovely guy but is suffering rather badly from PE. It's now the norm for him to last less than 30 seconds when we have sex.

Does anyone else have a similar experience? I'm not sure what to do, have tried to talk to him about it but he gets annoyed and embarrassed. I'd like him to get treatment or help, as tbh I now dread sex with him. I get no enjoyment from it, and I really miss some of the amazing sex I had with previous partners.

Does anyone have an idea on how I can approach this with him and we can fix this? It just feels very unfair, he gets what he wants and I'm left rather frustrated and unsatisfied. He's a nice guy, but I really think he's being very selfish here (he doesn't seem to think there's a problem).

Well I think most of us guys have had a hair trigger at sometime or other. Ways around it are to have a prep wank early on in the evening although not always the best romantic procedure. However it certainly a practical way to take the edge off. Personally I have 3 fixed images that I used to use as a buffer. One was Church spires, another was Fruit machines 3 bells and cherries 🍒 and finally Pat Butcher and Pat Butcher earings. Any of which or all of which would take the edge off the money shot.

You need to address it, despite it being uncomfortable. He is selfish for thinking it's not an issue, but I am guessing that is more from embarrassment. Is this a new thing?

@Marineboy67

Well I think most of us guys have had a hair trigger at sometime or other. Ways around it are to have a prep wank early on in the evening although not always the best romantic procedure. However it certainly a practical way to take the edge off. Personally I have 3 fixed images that I used to use as a buffer. One was Church spires, another was Fruit machines 3 bells and cherries 🍒 and finally Pat Butcher and Pat Butcher earings. Any of which or all of which would take the edge off the money shot.

Pat Butchers earrings! 😂😂😂😂

I think his lack of willingness to discuss is the first major issue. If he won't talk to you about it then you can't help him.

Would sending him an email or text about it and asking him to please discuss it with you perhaps help.

That is really selfish of him and shows he is not interested in you having a great time
I am sure if he made sure you had cum first with his tongue/ fingers etc you would at least not feel as frustrated
As you know PIV will be 30 seconds no orgasm for you no PIV for him?
Does lots of foreplay and teasing help
If he is not prepared to make an effort for you to have an amazing time move on

I'm a guy and I've had to deal with PE problems for a lot of my sex life, but for many years now I've had a system of "pre-masturbation" (like @Marineboy67 said) and that has really helped.

Sometimes when I start to have sex without having "got rid of the first round" earlier, I can tell straight away that I'm in trouble and the whole experience is not fun for me either. 2 minutes of "have sex but don't think about sex, think about something else, go slowly, that movement feels too good so gotta tone that down, oh no, too late..."

In contrast, if I've timed the pre-masturbation well then I can last much longer and can be far more passionate and it's much better for me and for her. I have had great feedback about "performance" which is a great motivation for sticking with the system.

Alternatively you could let him come quickly but then try to have time to go again in 30 minutes or however long? Not sure if this is an option for you.

Welcome to PM me if you'd like to ask further about my experiences.

There is a Sex board you know. But I'll bite.

The most obvious thing is that you orgasm first. So he gives you oral, fingering, whatever is best for you. Only when you are satisfied does piv happen.

Lots of men can't go longer than a couple of minutes in PIV.

Well, it's not ideal, but as the woman should cum first approach is always the way to go, it begs the question of have you prior? What of foreplay, oral etc? There's more to sex than PIV. Having said all that, given your experience and knowledge of how it can be - how did you end up marrying him?

The PE isn’t the biggest problem here, it’s his lack of any care for your pleasure. That’s not the sort of man I’d settle for personally.

Ladies first without PIV is the answer to the frustration. Plus having a round two as week when you have the time.

@RandomMess

Ladies first without PIV is the answer to the frustration. Plus having a round two as week when you have the time.

This, plus condoms, plus @Marineboy67 comments. Or just FWD him this link.

onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com/uk/ad/treat-premature-ejaculation

Hi all, thanks for the replies. They gave me the confirmation that what was going on wasn't acceptable. I had a v strongly-worded chat with DH last night (he gave me the perfect opportunity when he asked for sex). I point blank said no, and told him straight that things were going to change on that front. His confused face! Told him that any action would involve my needs first, and his PIV that he always wants would be the last act. Also gave him a couple of options re PE, one of which was the use of condoms. He was not happy about having to wear one, rather argumentative, so I suggested that he should maybe wear two! That really put him in his place.

He now knows exactly what is expected of him. He was very apologetic today. So I[m looking forward to the weekend where I come first!!

That probably wasn't the best way to raise the issue, sounds a bit passive aggressive. A bit more diplomacy would have got the same message across with less risk of him withdrawing or going on the defensive.

How often are you having sex? Often PE is a result of infrequent sex, so try going again more often - next day, or later on same day. Obviously he needs to satisfy you first if he's only going to last a few seconds himself, but it's a double edged sword with PE because extended foreplay can build his excitement too much before you get to PiV.

Also, ED meds can sometimes make men last longer, but medicating for PE is probably a last resort.

@p4dib
Great, hopefully things are going to be “looking up” for you 😂

@altmember

That probably wasn't the best way to raise the issue, sounds a bit passive aggressive. A bit more diplomacy would have got the same message across with less risk of him withdrawing or going on the defensive.

How often are you having sex? Often PE is a result of infrequent sex, so try going again more often - next day, or later on same day. Obviously he needs to satisfy you first if he's only going to last a few seconds himself, but it's a double edged sword with PE because extended foreplay can build his excitement too much before you get to PiV.

Also, ED meds can sometimes make men last longer, but medicating for PE is probably a last resort.

Not sure I agree with this approach, when it comes to sex I (personally), think you need to be direct and to the point, but not critical of your partner, and that applies to both genders if something isn’t working for you

I think it's good that you said something. I still recommend suggesting to him to "fire off the first load" on his own slightly before, but maybe he's really not into that. Either way, good luck for the weekend!

I think what you said was fine. He's clearly pretty oblivious if he "doesn't think there is a problem". The notion of you being unsatisfied doesn't even seem to have occurred to the dozy twonk.

No it's not nice to be criticised but if there's no way around that without making your point, tough.

It's not as if you're forcing him to satisfy you. You are just stating the acceptable conditions for your willingness to participate in sex. He has the option to decline to participate.

Maybe try delay condoms?

Hey, yeah, you guys definitely need to have a real conversation about this. The good thing is, there are actually a ton of ways to deal with PE these days—meds, techniques, even therapy if needed. I’ve been in the same boat with my girlfriend, and trust me, it was frustrating for both of us.

I looked into different options and started practicing some techniques that helped a lot. Stuff like:

• The Stop-Start Method – basically stopping stimulation before it's too late, taking a breather, then continuing. Over time, it builds more control.
• The Squeeze Technique – gently squeezing the tip of the penis right before climax to reduce sensitivity.
• Kegel Exercises – strengthening pelvic floor muscles (yep, guys can do those too) to improve control.
• Slower, More Mindful Sex – focusing on deep breathing and pacing yourself instead of just rushing to the finish.

But honestly, the biggest game-changer for me was Priligy (dapoxetine). It’s a prescription med (personally, I use it without a prescription, link below) that helps delay ejaculation by increasing serotonin levels in the brain, which improves control and extends performance. It made a huge difference for me, and now I don’t even think about PE anymore—neither does my girlfriend. Everything between us just got way better.

If you decide to bring this up with him, make sure he tries a quality Priligy. I always order mine from this pharmacy: delivery-service24.com/buy-priligy-uk.html. They’ve always got the real deal, and it works like a charm.

Hope this helps, and good luck! 😉