Iv recently had a baby (2ndchild) and my husband struggled after this as my time was spent on my baby (bfing) and running after my toddler. I was a zombie feeding every 2 hours. And he slept away to get rest as works full-time and he would do his bit in the morning and evenings.
Apart from that we never spent much time together.
We grew apart a lot since. And it was addressed by us after we had a huge row over something little but really it was resentment from his end that caused him to react huge to a little thing. We never spoke for 2 weeks. I really felt like my marriage was over. But I sought advice and people mentioned I should try to tall to him. I did feel put off approaching him as its always fkin me who has to crawl back. He also mentioned in a previous argument that I was desperate for always making up with him and almost begging him to talk to me. It was a hard pill to swallow when he said that. I just couldn't understand how that would mean I'm desperate? I'm just making a marriage work. And not talking doesn't make it work it creates so much resentment on my end. But my only motivation in that moment was for my kids. So I spoke to him and he said I'm not a wife to him no more etc etc. Anyway we made an arrangement to spend evenings together when the kids settled for bed. We did this for 2 weeks I really loved being that wife again. But then one night he said he didn't want to spend that evening together. And the next 2 evenings he was booked up. I felt really gutted. I was looking g forward to our evening. He said I'm just tired so I don't want to. I did say well we can just sit together and relax or just cuddle. And he started getting annoyed with me. He came out with stop being a moping wife and just go and do something nice for urself. It really hurt me and left me confused. He was the one who said I was t being a wife etc. And when I put the time in he pushes me away.
Iv now decided I do not want to spend the evenings with him no longer. I will do things for myself but not when it suits him it will be all the time. Does anyone have any advice for me. Apart from leave him. I cannot do that right now.
Can anyone figure out what is going on with my husband.
He has a stressful job and I know it effects him a lot and he usually says u won't understand why I'm like this my job is really getting to me.
Iv told him to change his role as it really interferes with our marriage. He considers it too. But there's no reason he should be a dk to me right. Or am I the one who isn't giving him the space he needs.