people who left a bad relationship whats your story?

[chocolatte0334]

People who left a long term relationship. When did you realise it was not for you? And how is your life now?

Married to a violent alcoholic. I thought I deserved it/ could help him. First real wake up call was when he hit and strangled me whilst stone cold sober. Before that I had always blamed the booze (not that alcohol means it’s ok to attack people), but this brought me to my senses as I realised he was just a bullying arse. Walked out with nothing but my handbag and the clothes on my back. Twenty years later, and life couldn’t be any more different. No more fear or living in poverty. My ex used to pawn anything of value I had eg Christmas presents, jewellery, DVD player and we got into debt because all our money would go on booze (he would beat or threaten me or steal money from my purse). Couple of years later, I met a wonderful man and we hit it off immediately- he is the very opposite of my ex in every possible way. I now have nice holidays, time to pursue my own hobbies/ voluntary work, my own business, and we are financially very comfortable. I am happy and confident and loved/ in love. Been with my now husband for 17 years and he is the kindest, gentlest man. We have a lovely home and pets. I count my blessings every day that I married my best friend.

I was the higher earner and realised that I was being coerced into things like taking out phone contracts in my name because he had low credit score etc. Discovered from bank statements that he was lending money from my wages to his friend (i foolishly gave him my card for groceries). Final straw was a bailiff arriving at our house and asking who my car belonged to as they wanted to seize it.

I ended it there and then, and got a lot of sob story type pressure from his family who in hindsight saw me as a bit of a meal ticket for him as I had an entry level graduate job. It was hard, as we still got on quite well personally but the penny had dropped that he was going to keep me from the future I was working so hard for.

Single for a few years and lived alone which I really enjoyed. Met a fantastic man online, engaged a year later and now married with two children. My husband now earns the same as me, works hard, shares my aspirations and values. We're very happy and well suited.

I was with my ex partner for 6 years out of which we were married for two. He was basically a future faker. Kept moving the goal posts 'can't buy a house now because we've just gotten new jobs'... 'can't be even thinking about children due to new jobs/rental house' and on and on it went like that. He was prone to quitting jobs before discussing any of his decisions with me. A year into our marriage, we both realised we were incompatible and it just wasn't working - pretty much the only thing we'd agreed on. Divorced amicably aged 36.

I had a couple of relationships afterwards
neither worked out but aged 38/39 I decided to go down the solo parenting route via a sperm donor and am currently 34 weeks pregnant.

I am so grateful that the marriage ended when it did as I have a feeling I'd still be in it trying to make it work while my fertility was declining...I'm happy with my life now. Yes there are hard moments but nothing compares to that dread and despair of being with someone who really hasn't got your best interests at heart. It was truly awful.

Some really sad stories on the thread so far , but it's great to see how much things improved on the other side!