It's been almost 3 months since my ex F(45) cheated/monkey branched onto her new guy after a 5 year relationship and I'm still finding it difficult to try forget the pain that she caused me M(42) we had a good relationship a good sex life and she seemed happy up to a few weeks before her betrayal. I will admit it did get complacent and a bit boring after all the lockdowns during covid but I never suspected anything till it was to late after more time to think over what she did I believe she has been emotionally cheating on me before her night of madness.
3 months ago she went out for lunch and drinks with friends and family on a Saturday early afternoon. Before going out she was acting a bit cold and distant the week running up to her betrayal with making excuses not to see me. She got a new tattoo before meeting up with her friends for lunch and got dressed up into something completely different and I started to have a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right.
She had a thing for snapchat always posting pictures and videos of her day and during her lunch with friends she would post plenty. Once the evening arrived the snap chats stopped so I assumed she was home so I called her but no answer and no return call.
On Sunday morning at 1am she started posting pictures of her with another guy in the back of taxi and then back at his house with her friend. She looked really drunk as she had been drinking all day and night till the pubs closed. I then felt for the first time asking if I could trust my partner.
I called her a number of times on Sunday moring but again I get ignored. Eventually she called back on Sunday evening. Told me straight away what she did. She was still inbed recovering from her 24 hours of partying. I couldn't understand as I thought this was the last person who would ever do a thing like this.
She told me she slept with someone else straight away She said she was also taking coke and stayed over at his house till 1pm. I was shocked. Told me the guy was a random she met in a pub and she regretted what she did and wanted to work things out bla bla. She looked so guilty and was crying with shame. She also said the guy knew she was in a relationship. So it says a lot about this guys morals and values. She told me she really loved me and all the crap you expect from a cheater and I fell for it. I decided to give her a chance to fix our relationship because I though she was going though some mid life crisis as no 45 year old goes out drinking all day and night taking coke and sleeping with apparent randoms. I really loved this woman a lot believed that it was a one off and didn't want to throw away the 5 years I invested in her.
We met up on the Monday once she recovered from all the drink, coke and probably long hours of having sex with this fella and met up again on Tuesday. She told me she was really happy in our relationship and couldn't give me an answer why she cheated. She told me she messaged the guy never to contact her again and that protection was used when the had sex and I believe her.
We ended up sleeping together on the tue..which I regret I know I was stupid but I believed her that protection was used. The sex felt off I just couldn't get the images out of my head and Once it was over she started to cry. When I was driving her home, she then said she can't remember anything that night. I started to doubt everything after that. The day after she called and told me she couldn't be with someone she cheated on and wanted to be alone to sort her head out and promised me she wasn't wanting to see this guy ever again. She tried to blame shift it on me why she had to end it buy saying that she couldn't get over I told her I wanted to forget but I only wanted to forget the images in my head with another man inside her
Once off the phone I was blocked everywhere. Phone, snapchat, whatsappp and FB. I messaged her from my old phone asking if protection was used as she couldn't have it both ways if she couldn't remember. She read my message but just ignored it and blocked again.
Was such a cruel, cowardly selfish way to end a relationship with someone who treated her well and who loved her more than anything. 5 years invested in her was over like she did care a single bit. Eveything then felt like a lie. I then had to take a number of std tests as she clearly wasn't be honest about many things. The depression kicked in straight away and the feeling of being worthless and blaming myself. She stole my self-confidence, self worth, self love and trust.
My friend was still on her fb page and she posted a picture of chucky with her saying when you know your a demon with lots of laughing faces the day after she broke up. I felt really stupid and used. I couldn't understand as I treated her and her kids so well thoughtout. The damage she caused and the trauma was unbearable at times. How could someone who only a few days ago tell you how much they love you do so many cruel things to someone they apparently cared about.
It turns out she was also lying about not wanting to see the guy again as she has being posting pictures together with the guy she cheated on me with looking all happy and saying how much she loves him. She has even posted a picture of them both staring into his eyes looking all loved up on the night she cheated. She's now going out every weekend drinking with her mates and then having nights out with him.
It turns out it wasn't some random it was a guy she has known for years who I now suspect the talked over fb before deciding to monkeybranch. I have serious doubts if a relationship born out of cheating will last and with the guy who also must be really selfish if he knowingly sleeps with other women that are in relationships and goes out his way to destroy them.
I wanted to marry this woman and I'm glad I'm no longer with her and I do wish them all the best. I do think they will struggle to trust each other once the honey moon period ends. But I'm still struggling to move on knowing that every thing was a lie. How someone could move on so quick and not take time to heal after a long term relationship. I missed the red flags as she had a lot of trust issues throughout our relationship. Her dad was a serial cheater so no idea if she will do it again.
If you've ever been cheated on did you find it difficult to open up and trust the person in your next relationship. Did it cause you any issues or problems trying to build a relationship with someone else